


With The Roar of The Fire (My Heart Rose To Its Feet)

by StarEyesAndDiatribes



Category: Life and Death - Stephenie Meyer, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Author is trans, Different imprint dynamics, Healing Power of Friendship, I Don't Even Know, Jacob Black is Actually a Good Friend, Long Haired Pack, M/M, No Edward hallucinations, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Trans Lee Clearwater, Trans Male Character, because the lack of choice was ew, set in new moon, trans beau swan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:42:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 42,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25873060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarEyesAndDiatribes/pseuds/StarEyesAndDiatribes
Summary: "I had been so wrapped up in them, barely interacting with anyone else, including my father, except when they went hunting or it was too sunny for them to be out, and suddenly it was all gone.The second family I had become a part of had just abandoned me with the knowledge of a world I couldn’t divulge and a shared trauma I hadn’t dealt with. I couldn't cope."Beau is struggling with the aftermath of the Cullens leaving. He starts a project with one friend and gains two in the process, one of which understands exactly what he's going through. It's enough to loosen the tightness in his chest. Make him possibly hope again.But good things never really last. At least not for Beau.
Relationships: Beau Swan/Lee Clearwater, Leah Clearwater/Bella Swan
Comments: 23
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Strap in, because this is a LONG one. Sorry if the beginning is a little rough, it gets better as it goes, I promise. This is my first Twilight fic, because I somehow managed to not write any the first time around.
> 
> Come talk to me over on my tumblr about this disaster franchise @ transboybeauswan
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Jacob was waiting for me.

"Hey, Beau," he called.

"Hey, Jacob," I waved at Billy, who was looking out the window.

"Let's get to work," Jacob said in a low but eager voice.

"You seriously aren't sick of me yet?" I wondered. He must be starting to ask himself how desperate I was for company.

Jacob led the way around the house to his garage.

"Nope. Not yet."

"Please let me know when I start getting on your nerves. I don't want to be a pain."

"Okay." He laughed, a throaty sound. "I wouldn't hold your breath for that, though."

When I walked into the garage, I was shocked to see the red bike standing up, looking like a motorcycle rather than a pile of jagged metal.

"Jake, you're amazing," I breathed.

He laughed again. "I get obsessive when I have a project." He shrugged. "If I had any brains, I'd drag it out a little bit."

"Why?"

He looked down, pausing for so long that I wondered if he hadn't heard my question. Finally, he asked me, "Beau, if I told you that I couldn't fix these bikes, what would you say?"

I didn't answer right away either and he glanced up to check my expression.

"I would say… that's too bad, but I'll bet we could figure out something else to do. If we got really desperate, we could even do homework."

Jacob smiled, and his shoulders relaxed. He sat down next to the bike and picked up a wrench. "So, you think you'll still come over when I'm done, then?"

"Is that what you meant?" I shook my head. "I guess I am taking advantage of your very under-priced mechanical skills. But as long as you let me come over, I'll be here."

"Hoping to see Quil again?" he teased.

"You caught me."

He chuckled. "You really like spending time with me?" he asked, marvelling.

"Very, very much.” I was cut off from suggesting we could even take a break for a couple of days by someone knocking on the garage door.

“Knock knock, Black, I’m coming in.”

I looked up to see Leland Clearwater walking in. I shot a panicked look at Jacob, but his face wasn’t nervous, just mildly annoyed.

“What do you want, Lee?”

Lee shrugged at the two of us, “Dad came to talk to Billy, and he told me to come out here.” His face was carefully blank, but the irritation was obvious around the edges. He came around the side and leaned up against the Rabbit, I quickly got up and awkwardly offered him the seat in the car.

With him standing less than two feet away, I realised just how tall he was. When we had had the group dinner the night before, I hadn’t been too focused on him, or he on the rest of us, but he easily towered over me like this. He might have been the same size as Jacob. Lee’s long hair was in a pretty braid over his shoulder, though from the night before I knew that it was longer than even Jacob’s was.

He raised an eyebrow at me, and I felt my face heat up.

“Um, I was getting up anyways so you can, uh, have it.”

I heard Jacob snicker slightly and I shot an annoyed look at him, for a supposed best friend he was a huge jerk.

Lee rolled his eyes at me but took the offered seat. I realised that I hadn’t planned what to do with myself and tried to subtly lean in the spot he had been.

Of course, I underestimated where the car itself was and ended up falling backwards onto it, causing Jacob to lose it into full belly laughs, and Lee’s mouth to quirk up into a smile.

My blush grew deeper and I looked at the ground.

“Shut it,” I hissed at Jacob, and after a moment he did calm down. Pulling out a couple of cans of soda for the three of us.

“So, what are your plans with these scraps?” He nodded towards the bikes.

Jacob rolled his eyes, “We’re planning on riding them.”

“Are you serious? Billy will have a whole cow if he finds out about this.”

“Which is why he won’t find out.” Jacob had a warning tone to his voice, and if I didn’t know that he was a ball of sunshine I would’ve been worried about it.

Lee sniffed, “Yeah alright, because no one will see you and Charlie Swan’s only son riding around and snitch on the two of you.”

Jacob shook his head, “I know a spot that’s pretty secluded, not many people head out there, so we won’t be caught.” Jacob smiled brightly at me, and I couldn’t help but give him a grin of my own, he really did think this out more than me.

Lee looked between us for a moment before nodding. “Alright, I want in.”

“No way!” Jacob glared at Lee, and I wondered if he actually had a problem with Lee, or if he just wanted to spend some more time with me.

Lee’s face twisted into a mix of anger and something else I knew but couldn’t place. There had been a hint of desperation underneath the forced nonchalance in his voice, and I felt my heart ache for him in empathy.

This must’ve been how Jake felt when he looked at me.

I didn’t bother looking over at Jacob before I spoke, “Of course you can.”

Lee looked up at me, and I could see a spark of confusion, “I can?”

I nodded, and gave Jacob a look I hope conveyed that I would explain later, “Yeah, we only have the two bikes, but I’m sure you and I could easily take turns or something. The more the merrier.”

He took a moment before speaking, “I know where I can get an old bike, I was already fixing one up with-” Lee cut himself off, and I nearly felt the anger rolling off of him. He took a deep breath to steady himself before continuing, “Well, I was already fixing it up.”

I easily pretended I didn’t notice.

I heard Jacob grumble underneath his breath before he spoke up, “Fine, you can come.”

I gave Lee a small smile, and he was about to say something else when we heard Harry’s voice calling for him.

He stood quickly, probably realising same as us that if Harry found out the whole operation would be busted, “Black, you have my number, I’ll probably bring my stuff down here to work on it. Make it easier to keep each other on track.”

Jacob glared at him as he walked away, but I sent him a shy wave as he left.

He looked at me, confused, “Why do you want Lee Clearwater to hang out with us?”

I gave him a shrug, and looked at the floor of the garage, “He looked…” I trailed off, hoping Jacob could see it the same as I did, and understand why I didn’t just want to push him away.

Jacob stayed quiet for long enough that I looked back up.

He looked awkward, and my curiosity increased.

“Jake, what is it?”

He grimaced, “Lee was broken up with by Sam Uley, and he’s been a little bit of a mess ever since. We all thought those two would get married after graduation, but Sam left him for his cousin, Emily. They were really close, and I don’t think he’s quite gotten over it.”

I felt my chest tighten and I understood.

“Ah.”

“Yeah.”

I looked at the bikes for a second then back at Jacob, my earlier line of thought catching back up to me, “How about we take a break from the bikes? I have to work tomorrow, but Wednesday we'll do something nonmechanical."

"Like what?"

"I have no idea. We can go to my place, so you won't be tempted to be obsessive. You could bring your schoolwork; you have to be getting behind because I know I am."

"Homework might be a good idea." He made a face, and I wondered how much he was leaving undone to be with me.

"Yeah," I agreed. "We'll have to start being responsible occasionally, or Billy and Charlie aren't going to be so easy going about this." I made a gesture indicating the two of us as a single entity. He beamed.

"Homework once a week?" he proposed.

"Maybe we'd better go with twice," I suggested, thinking of the pile I'd just been assigned today.

"Here's to responsibility," he toasted. "Twice a week."

"And recklessness every day in between."

Thursday and Friday, we were back in the shop.

This time though, there was a third bike, and with it a third presence.

The first day Lee joined us was quiet for the most part. I didn’t know him that well, and Jacob still seemed to be uncomfortable with the situation.

Lee spent the majority of the time with a furrow in between his brows, and his face inches from the bike.

Watching him work was just as mesmerizing as watching Jacob. His fingers were longer than Jacob’s, which seemed to work better for getting into the tight spaces, and he was just as covered in grease as he was.

“Hey, Beau. Can you toss me a ring-end wrench from over there? I need a-” He glanced at the shiny thing in his hand for half a second, “-three-quarters.”

I nodded and went to the metal drawers he kept his tools. I opened the first drawer, and then the second, and then the third.

… I had no clue what a ring-ended wrench was.

I must have spent too long just staring into the abyss because I heard Jacob start laughing. My face burned and I turned to glare at him.

I heard a separate laugh, quieter, and my eyes flicked to see Lee’s face open.

From behind Jake he held up a wrench with a circle end, and what looked like a smaller circle nestled inside of it. I turned my face back to the drawers and found one that looked similar and had an embossed ¾ on it.

I chucked it at Jacob, not really hoping to hit him, but maybe catch him off guard enough to where he shut up.

Lee chuckled again when he floundered to catch it.

“Careful, Swan. I don’t think he can afford to lose anymore braincells.”

“Hey!”

I chuckled, “I’m sure one or two concussions won’t hurt him. I’ve had a few and I turned out fine.” That was debatable, but I didn’t want to bring down the mood.

“I feel like you have to actually work to get the amount of concussions you’ve had, Beau.” Jacob snorted and I considered tossing another wrench at his head.

“Ha. Ha.”

I settled myself back into the seat of the Rabbit.

“He can’t have had that many.”

Jacob cringed at Lee’s words, “I think I was personally present for at least two when we were kids. One of them was during a fishing trip, Beau here hopped out of the truck and immediately hit his head on the concrete, so we all ended up in the E.R. waiting for him to get stitched up.”

I winced. I had repressed the memories of the fishing trips, but that one came rushing back. Jacob, Rachel, and Rebecca had all freaked out at how much blood was coming out of my head. This was when my hair was still long enough to reach my back, so it was hard to see the wound through the tresses and recognise that it wasn’t too bad.

“He got concussed… getting out of the car?” Lee had an incredulous look on his face, but my own embarrassment must have been confirmation enough. “You’re a walking disaster, Swan.”

Jacob nodded, “The second time he went with Rebecca and I to go look at the tide pools and managed to bash his head on a rock. I had to stay with him while Rebecca went to get our dads.”

I groaned, “Jacob, shut up.”

He smirked over at me, “Not my fault you’re a walking disaster.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, “Keep it up I won’t cook for you again.”

Jacob’s mouth opened to say something, but my glare must have clued in that I was serious, and he quickly closed it again.

Lee snorted.

After that the conversation… not exactly flowed easily, but it wasn’t nearly as strained as before.

Friday was easier from the beginning; Lee was already in the garage when I arrived, and he and Jake were bickering light-heartedly and chugging cans of soda.

I sat in my customary seat in the Rabbit and joined in when I felt the need to.

I learned that Lee’s favourite candy were Reese’s pieces, which Jake thought were completely inferior to sour skittles, and that Seth was being obnoxious because a girl from his eighth-grade class asked him out for his first date.

“He had a growth spurt recently and all of a sudden the girls who teased him for being scrawny are all being catty and sending him kiddy love-notes in class.”

Lee fake-gagged, and I couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment. Romance was not a subject I like to discuss, but it was somehow nice to talk about it like this. Like it was something so simple. It reminded me what it was like to be a part of a fully human world.

“What’s worse is mom is making me drive them,” Lee scowled, “Now I’ve got to chaperone for two fourteen-year-olds who just wanna sneak off to make out. I might let them just to get them out of my hair.”

I couldn’t help but snicker at that. “Perks of being the only child of divorced parents then.”

Lee narrowed his eyes and stuck his tongue out childishly. It through me off guard just how young he looked when he relaxed. He was only a year older than me, but we acted so serious half the time I forgot we were all just teenagers.

Jacob chuckled, “He’s excited, it’s his first date, guys.”

Lee and I met each other’s eyes and immediately turned on Jacob.

“Was it Rachel or Rebecca that drove you to your first date?”

Jacob’s skin darkened as he blushed, and I tried to supress my chuckle.

“I bet it was Rachel, Rebecca would have embarrassed him too much.”

Lee nodded, “You’re right. Rachel is much more responsible; she never would’ve let him leave her sight.”

Jacob buried his face in his hands and groaned. He mumbled something that neither one of us quite caught.

“What was that, Jake?”

He moved his hands away from his face and glared at the two of us, “It was Rachel, and you’re right. She didn’t.”

It took Lee and I a second to start laughing, “Oh my god did you get caught macking by your sister?!” Lee choked out in between gasps.

Jacob’s embarrassed expression was all the answer we needed.

Before I left that evening, I wished Lee luck on chaperoning his brother the next day, and let Jake know what time I’d pick him up.

Saturday, after my shift at Newton's, was homework again. Charlie felt secure enough in my sanity again to spend the day fishing with Harry. When he got back, we were all done, feeling very sensible and mature about it, too, and watching _Monster Garage_ on the Discovery Channel.

"I probably ought to go." Jacob sighed. "It's later than I thought."

"Okay, fine," I grumbled. "I'll take you home."

He laughed at my unwilling expression.

"Tomorrow, back to work," I said as soon as we were safe in the truck. "What time do you want me to come up?"

There was an unexplained excitement in his answering smile. "I'll call you first, okay?"

"Sure." I frowned to myself, wondering what was up. His smile widened.

I cleaned the house the next morning, waiting for Jacob to call.

Charlie was outside washing his truck, so when the phone rang, I dropped the toilet brush and ran downstairs to answer it.

"Hello?" I asked breathlessly.

"Beau," Jacob said, a strange, formal tone to his voice.

"Hey, Jake."

"I believe that… we have a date" he said, his tone thick with excitement.

It took me a second before I got it. "They're done? I can't believe it!"

"Yeah, they run and everything."

"Jacob, you are absolutely, without a doubt, the most talented and wonderful person I know! You get ten years for this.”

“Cool! I’m middle-aged now.”

I laughed. "I'm on my way up! Is Lee already there?"

“Yup, we’re just waiting on you.”

I threw the cleaning supplies under the bathroom counter and grabbed my jacket.

"Headed to see Jake and Lee," Charlie said when I ran past him. It wasn't really a question. Jake and I had filled him in that Lee Clearwater was hanging with us now, and he’d been pleased I seemed to have more than one friend.

"Yep," I replied as I jumped in my truck.

"I'll be at the park later," Charlie called after me.

"Okay," I yelled back, turning the key.

Charlie said something else, but I couldn't hear him clearly over the roar of the engine. It sounded sort of like, "Where's the fire?"

I parked my truck off to the side of the Blacks' house, close to the trees, to make it easier for us to sneak the bikes out. When I got out, a splash of colour caught my eye. Three shiny motorcycles, one red, one black, and one silver were hidden under a spruce, invisible from the house. They were prepared.

There was a piece of blue ribbon tied in a small bow around each of the handlebars. I was laughing at that when Jacob and Lee ran out of the house.

"Ready?" he asked in a low voice, his eyes sparkling.

I glanced over his shoulder, and there was no sign of Billy.

"Yeah," I said, but I didn't feel quite as excited as before; I was trying to imagine myself actually on the motorcycle.

Jacob and Lee loaded the bikes into the bed of the truck with ease, laying them carefully on their sides so they didn't show.

"Let's go," he said, his voice higher than usual with excitement. “I’ll give you directions.”

Jake and Lee fought for a second over who got to sit where, but after a moment it was decided that Jacob would sit by the window. He was too tall to sit in the centre.

We drove south out of town. The dirt road wove in and out of the forest, sometimes there was nothing but trees, and then there would suddenly be a breath-taking glimpse of the Pacific Ocean, reaching to the horizon, dark grey under the clouds. We were above the shore, on top of the cliffs that bordered the beach here and the view seemed to stretch on forever.

I was driving slowly, so that I could safely stare out across the ocean now and then, as the road wound closer to the sea cliffs. Jacob and Lee were talking about finishing the bikes, but their descriptions were getting technical, so I wasn't paying close attention.

That was when I noticed four figures standing on a rocky ledge, much too close to the precipice. I couldn't tell from the distance how old they were, but I assumed they were men. Despite the chill in the air today, they seemed to be wearing only shorts.

As I watched, the tallest person stepped closer to the brink. I slowed automatically, my foot hesitating over the brake pedal.

And then he threw himself off the edge.

"No!" I shouted, stomping down on the brake.

"What's wrong?" Jacob shouted back, alarmed.

"That guy- he just jumped off the cliff! Why didn't they stop him? We've got to call an ambulance!" I threw open my door and started to get out, which made no sense at all. The fastest way to a phone was to drive back to Billy's. But I couldn't believe what I'd just seen. Maybe, subconsciously, I hoped I would see something different without the glass of the windshield in the way.

Jacob laughed, and I spun to stare at him wildly. How could he be so calloused, so cold-blooded?

"They're just cliff diving, Beau. Recreation. La Push doesn't have a mall, you know." He was teasing, but there was a strange note of irritation in his voice. Lee was silent, his face glaring daggers into the dashboard of the truck.

"Cliff diving?" I repeated, dazed. I stared in disbelief as a second figure stepped to the edge, paused, and then very gracefully leaped into space. He fell for what seemed like an eternity to me, his long hair streaming behind him, before finally cutting smoothly into the dark grey waves below.

"Wow. It's so high." I slid back into my seat, still staring wide-eyed at the two remaining divers. "It must be a hundred feet."

"Well, yeah, most of us jump from lower down, that rock that juts out from the cliff about halfway." He pointed out his window. The place he indicated did seem much more reasonable. "Those guys are insane. Probably showing off how tough they are. I mean, really, it's freezing today. That water can't feel good."

He made a disgruntled face, as if the stunt personally offended him. It surprised me a little. I would have thought Jacob was nearly impossible to upset.

"You jump off the cliff?" I hadn't missed the "us." I glanced between Lee and Jacob, wondering if he did it as well.

"Sure, sure." He shrugged and grinned. "It's fun. A little scary, kind of a rush."

I looked back at the cliffs, where the third figure was pacing the edge. My eyes widened, and I smiled. "You guys have to take me cliff diving."

He frowned back at me, his face disapproving. "Beau, you just wanted to call an ambulance for Sam," he reminded me, he shot a worried look at Lee, and it was then that it clicked why he was so tense. I was surprised that he could tell who it was from this distance.

I watched, fascinated, as the third boy made a running start and flung himself farther into the empty air than the other two. He twisted and cartwheeled through space as he fell, like he was skydiving. He looked absolutely free, unthinking and utterly irresponsible.

"I still want to go.”

Jacob rolled his eyes, “On a warmer day, we have the bike’s, remember?”

"Okay, okay," I said, tearing my eyes away from the last person waiting on the cliff. I put my seat belt back on and closed the door. The engine was still running, roaring as it idled. We started down the road again.

"So, who were those guys, the crazy ones?" I wondered. I knew one of them was Sam, but I didn’t know the rest.

Lee made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat. "The La Push gang."

"You have a gang?" I asked.

Jacob laughed once. "Not like that. I swear, they're like hall monitors gone bad. They don't start fights; they keep the peace." He snorted. "There was this guy from up somewhere by the Makah rez, big guy too, scary-looking. Well, word got around that he was selling meth to kids, and Sam Uley and his disciples ran him off our land. They're all about our land, and tribe pride…The worst part is that the council takes them seriously. Embry said that the council actually meets with Sam." He shook his head, face full of resentment.

“They call themselves protectors.” Lee's hands were clenched into fists, as if he'd like to hit something.

"You don't like them." I asked tentatively. Sam, I understood, but it seemed that the group as a whole wasn’t too bad.

"Does it show?" he asked with bitter sarcasm.

"Just sort of annoyingly goody-two-shoes for a gang." I shrugged.

"Yeah. Annoying is a good word.” Lee’s jaw worked, and I could feel that wasn’t exactly the word he had in mind.

“They're always showing off,” Jacob said, “Like the cliff thing. They act like… like, I don't know. Like tough guys. I was hanging out at the store with Embry and Quil once, last semester, and he came by with his followers, Jared and Paul. Quil said something, you know how he's got a big mouth, and it pissed Paul off. His eyes got all dark, and he sort of smiled- no, he showed his teeth but he didn't smile, and it was like he was so mad he was shaking or something. But Sam put his hand against Paul's chest and shook his head. Paul looked at him for a minute and calmed down. Honestly, it was like Sam was holding him back, like Paul was going to tear us up if Sam didn't stop him." He groaned. "Like a bad western. You know, Paul's just sixteen, too, shorter than me and not as beefy as Quil. I think any one of us could take him."

"Tough guys," I agreed. I could see it in my head as he described it, and it reminded me of something… a trio of tall, dark men standing very still and close together in my father's living room. I spoke quickly again to divert myself from those memories. "Isn't he a little too old for this kind of thing?"

"Yeah. He was supposed to go to college, but he stayed.” Lee sneered.

“And no one gave him any crap about it, either!” Jacob interjected. “The whole council pitched a fit when Rebecca turned down a partial scholarship and got married. But, oh no, Uley can do no wrong." His face was set in unfamiliar lines of outrage; outrage and something else I didn't recognize at first.

"It all sounds really annoying and… strange. But I don't get why _you're_ taking it so personally." I peeked over at Lee’s face. It was still twisted in anger. Him I got, Sam left him for his cousin and started a gang of minors, but Jacob?

He was suddenly calm, staring out the side window.

"You just missed the turn," he said in an even voice.

I executed a very wide U-turn, nearly hitting a tree as my circle ran the truck halfway off the road.

"Thanks for the heads-up," I muttered as I started up the side road.

"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

It was quiet for a brief minute.

"You can stop anywhere along here," he said softly.

I pulled over and cut the engine. My ears rang in the silence that followed. We all got out, and Jacob and Lee headed around to the back to get the bikes.

Jacob smiled half-heartedly as he pushed the red bike to my side, Lee pulling his bike to the middle of the road, "Happy late birthday. Are you ready for this?"

"I think so." The bike suddenly looked intimidating, frightening, as I realized I would soon be astride it.

"We'll take it slow," he promised. I gingerly leaned the motorcycle against the truck's fender.

"Jake…" I hesitated, glancing over to where Lee was, checking over his bike and ignoring us completely while he calmed down.

"Yeah?"

"What's really bothering you? About the Sam thing, I mean? I get why Lee is pissed, but… Is there something else?" I watched his face.

He grimaced, but he didn't seem angry. He looked at the dirt and kicked his shoe against the front tire of his bike again and again, like he was keeping time.

He sighed. "It's just… the way they treat me. It creeps me out." The words started to rush out now. "You know, the council is supposed to be made up of equals, but if there was a leader, it would be my dad. I've never been able to figure out why people treat him the way they do. Why his opinion counts the most. It's got something to do with his father and his father's father. My great-grandpa, Ephraim Black, was sort of the last chief we had, and they still listen to Billy, maybe because of that.

"But I'm just like everyone else. Nobody treats me special… until now."

That caught me off guard. "Sam treats you special?"

"Yeah," he agreed, looking up at me with troubled eyes. "He looks at me like he's waiting for something… like I'm going to join his stupid gang someday. He pays more attention to me than any of the other guys. I hate it."

"You don't have to join anything." My voice was angry. This was really upsetting Jacob, and that infuriated me. Who did these "protectors" think they were?

"Yeah." His foot kept up its rhythm against the tire.

"What?" I could tell there was more.

He frowned, his eyebrows pulling up in a way that looked sad and worried rather than angry. "It's Embry. He's been avoiding me lately."

The thoughts didn't seem connected, but I wondered if I was to blame for the problems with his friend.

"You've been hanging out with me and Lee a lot," I reminded him, feeling selfish.

"No, that's not it. It's not just me, it's Quil, too, and everyone. Embry missed a week of school, but he was never home when we tried to see him. And when he came back, he looked… he looked freaked out. Terrified. Quil and I both tried to get him to tell us what was wrong, but he wouldn't talk to either one of us."

I stared at Jacob, biting my lip anxiously, he was really frightened. But he didn't look at me. He watched his own foot kicking the rubber as if it belonged to someone else. The tempo increased. Lee continued checking over his bike.

"Then this week, out of nowhere, Embry's hanging out with Sam and the rest of them. He was out on the cliffs today." His voice was low and tense.

He finally looked at me. "Beau, they bugged him even more than they bother me. He didn't want anything to do with them. And now Embry's following Sam around like he's joined a cult.

"And that's the way it was with Paul. Just exactly the same. He wasn't friends with Sam at all. Then he stopped coming to school for a few weeks, and, when he came back, suddenly Sam owned him. I don't know what it means. I can't figure it out, and I feel like I have to, because Embry's my friend and… Sam's looking at me funny and…" He trailed off.

"Have you talked to Billy about this?" I asked. His horror was spreading to me. I had chills running on the back of my neck.

Now there was anger on his face. "Yes," he snorted. "That was helpful."

"What did he say?"

Jacob's expression was sarcastic, and when he spoke, his voice mocked the deep tones of his father's voice. "It's nothing you need to worry about now, Jacob. In a few years, if you don't… well, I'll explain later." And then his voice was his own. "What am I supposed to get from that? Is he trying to say it's some stupid puberty, coming-of-age thing? This is something else. Something wrong."

He was biting his lower lip and clenching his hands. He looked like he was about to cry.

I threw my arms around him instinctively, wrapping them around his waist and pressing my face against his chest. He was so big, I felt like I was a child hugging a grown-up.

"Oh, Jake, it'll be okay!" I promised. "If it gets worse you can come live with me and Charlie. Don't be scared, we'll think of something!"

He was frozen for a second, and then his long arms wrapped hesitantly around me. "Thanks, Beau." His voice was huskier than usual.

We stood like that for a moment, and it didn't upset me; in fact, I felt comforted by the contact. This didn't feel anything like the last time someone had embraced me this way. This was friendship. And Jacob was very warm.

It was strange for me, being this close emotionally rather than physically, though the physical was strange for me, too, to another human being. It wasn't my usual style. I didn't normally relate to people so easily, on such a basic level.

Not human beings, anyways.

"If this is how you're going to react, I'll freak out more often." Jacob's voice was light, normal again, and his laughter rumbled against my ear.

Lee cleared his throat, his anger gone and in its place amusement.

I pulled away quickly, laughing with him.

"It's hard to believe I'm two years older than you," I said, “At least Lee has the excuse of being a year older, but you two make me feel like a dwarf." Standing this close to him, I really had to crane my neck to see his face.

"You're forgetting I'm in my forties, of course."

"Oh, that's right."

"So, are we going to ride or what?" Lee called out, and I saw him roll his eyes at us.

"Let's do it," I agreed, more enthusiastic than I had been half a minute ago.

I wheeled my bike a couple of feet away from his, and Jake set his up a few feet farther from mine.

I blushed as they both helped me get settled on the bike.

"Okay, where’s your clutch?"

I pointed to the lever on my left handlebar. Letting go of the grip was a mistake. The heavy bike wobbled underneath me, threatening to knock me sidewise. I grabbed the handle again, trying to hold it straight.

"Guys, it won't stay up," I complained.

"It will when you're moving," Lee promised. "Where's your brake?"

"Behind my right foot."

"Wrong." Jacob said.

He grabbed my right hand and curled my fingers around the lever over the throttle.

"But you said-"

"This is the brake you want. Don't use the back brake now, that's for later, when you know what you're doing."

"That doesn't sound right," I said suspiciously. "Aren't both brakes kind of important?"

"Forget the back brake.” Lee sighed, “Here-" he wrapped his hand around mine and made me squeeze the lever down. "That is how you brake. Don't forget." He squeezed my hand another time.

"Fine," I agreed.

"Throttle?"

I twisted the right grip.

"Gearshift?"

I nudged it with my left calf.

"I think you've got all the parts down. Now you just have to get it moving."

"Uh-huh," I muttered, afraid to say more. My stomach was contorting strangely, and I thought my voice might crack. I was terrified.

I stared down the long stretch of dirt road, bordered by thick misty green on every side. The road was sandy and damp. Better than mud.

"I want you to hold down the clutch," Jacob instructed.

I wrapped my fingers around the clutch.

"Now this is crucial, Beau," Jacob stressed. "Don't let go of that, okay? I want you to pretend that I've handed you a live grenade. The pin is out, and you are holding down the spoon."

I squeezed tighter.

"Good. Do you think you can kick-start it?"

"If I move my foot, I will fall over," I told him through gritted teeth, my fingers tight around my live grenade.

"Okay, I'll do it. Don't let go of the clutch."

He took a step back, and then suddenly slammed his foot down on the pedal. There was a short ripping noise, and the force of his thrust rocked the bike. I started to fall sideways, but Lee caught the bike before it knocked me to the ground.

"Steady there," he encouraged. "Do you still have the clutch?"

"Yes," I gasped.

"Plant your feet, I'm going to try again." Jacob said, but Lee put his hand on the back of the seat, too, just to be safe.

In one heavy stomp the ignition caught. I could feel the bike rumbling beneath me like an angry animal. I gripped the clutch until my fingers ached.

"Try out the throttle," he suggested. "Very lightly. And don't let go of the clutch."

Hesitantly, I twisted the right handle. Though the movement was tiny, the bike snarled beneath me. It sounded angry and hungry now. Jacob smiled in deep satisfaction.

"Do you remember how to put it into first gear?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Well, go ahead and do it."

"Okay."

He waited for a few seconds.

"Left foot," he prompted.

"I know," I said, taking a deep breath.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Lee asked. "You look scared."

"I'm fine." I kicked the gearshift down one notch.

"Very good," Jacob praised me. "Now, very gently, ease up on the clutch."

Jacob took a step away from the bike, Lee was bit more hesitant.

"You want me to let go of the grenade?" I asked in disbelief. No wonder he was moving back.

"That's how you move, Beau. Just do it little by little." Lee gave my shoulder a squeeze and stepped back as well.

“Ease off slowly,” Jacob encouraged.

I relaxed my hand by tiny degrees.

Suddenly, the gear caught and wrenched me forward.

And I was flying.

There was wind that wasn't there before, blowing my skin against my skull and flinging my shaggy hair back behind me with enough force that it felt like someone was tugging on it. I'd left my stomach back at the starting point; the adrenaline coursed through my body, tingling in my veins. The trees raced past me, blurring into a wall of green.

But this was only first gear. My foot itched toward the gearshift as I twisted for more gas.

I realized that the road ahead of me was starting a slow curve to the left, and I was still going straight. Jacob hadn't told me how to turn.

"Brakes, brakes," I muttered to myself, and I instinctively slammed down with my right foot, like I would in my truck.

The bike was suddenly unstable underneath me, shivering first to one side and then the other. It was dragging me toward the green wall, and I was going too fast. I tried to turn the handlebar the other direction, and the sudden shift of my weight pushed the bike toward the ground, still spinning toward the trees.

The motorcycle landed on top of me again, roaring loudly, pulling me across the wet sand until it hit something stationary. I couldn't see. My face was mashed into the moss. I tried to lift my head, but there was something in the way.

“Beau!” Jacob and Lee yelled, and I heard the sound of two engines cutting off.

“Beau!” They were both crouching over me anxiously.

“I think we’d better drive him to the hospital.” Lee looked worried.

"I'm fine."

"You've got a huge cut on your forehead, and it's gushing blood," he informed me.

I clapped my hand over my head. Sure enough, it was wet and sticky. I could smell nothing but the damp moss on my face, and that held off the nausea.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, guys." I pushed hard against the gash, as if I could force the blood back inside my head.

"Why are you apologizing for bleeding?" Jacob wondered as he wrapped a long arm around my waist and pulled me to my feet, Lee grabbing my arm on the other side.

"Let's go. I'll drive." Lee held out his hand for the keys.

"What about the bikes?" I asked, handing them over.

Jacob plucked the keys from his hand, "Wait here. And take this." He pulled off his T-shirt, already spotted with blood, and threw it to Lee. He wadded it up and held it tightly to my forehead. I was starting to smell the blood; I breathed deeply through my mouth and tried to concentrate on Lee.

I could smell my own strawberry shampoo on his shoulder from where my head had been brushing it, mixed with his honey scented one it was almost enough to block it out.

Almost.

Jacob jumped on the black motorcycle, kicked it to a start in one try, and raced back down the road, spraying sand, and pebbles behind him. He looked athletic and professional as he leaned over the handlebars, head low, face forward, his shiny hair whipping against the russet skin of his back. My eyes narrowed enviously. I was sure I hadn't looked like that on my motorcycle.

I was surprised at how far I'd gone. I could barely see Jacob in the distance when he finally got to the truck. He threw the bike into the bed and sprinted to the driver's side.

I really didn't feel bad at all as he coaxed my truck to a deafening roar in his hurry to get back to us. My head stung a little, and my stomach was uneasy, but the cut wasn't serious. Head wounds just bled more than most. His urgency wasn't necessary. I hoped Lee felt the same as me.

Jacob left the truck running as he raced back to me.

"Okay, let's get you in the truck."

"I'm honestly fine," I assured him as he and Lee helped me in. "Don't get worked up. It's just a little blood."

"Just a lot of blood," I heard him mutter as he went back for my bike, leaving me with Lee, who scooted so he was in the driver’s seat and I was in the centre.

"Now, let's think about this for a second," I began when he got in, turning my face to Lee, he was reasonable, "If you take me to the ER like this, Charlie is sure to hear about it." I glanced down at the sand and dirt caked into my jeans.

"Beau, I think you need stitches.” Lee raised his eyebrow at me. Shoot.

“I'm not going to let you bleed to death!” Jacob sounded freaked out in a way only 16-year-olds managed to.

"I won't," I soothed him. "Let's just take the bikes back first, and then we'll make a stop at my house so I can dispose of the evidence before we go to the hospital."

"What about Charlie?" Lee asked.

"He said he had to work today."

"Are you really sure?" Jacob still looked nervous.

"Trust me. I'm an easy bleeder. It's not nearly as dire as it looks."

Jacob wasn't happy, his full mouth turned down in an uncharacteristic frown, but Lee and I outvoted him, and he didn't want to get me in trouble.

"By the way," he added. "I'm going to disconnect your foot brake tonight."

Lee chuckled.

At home, I went to look at myself in the mirror first thing; it was pretty gruesome. Blood was drying in thick streaks across my cheek and neck, matting in my muddy hair, which had grown out to my shoulders during my depressive episode. I examined myself clinically, pretending the blood was paint so it wouldn't upset my stomach. I breathed through my mouth, and was fine.

I washed up as well as I could. Then I hid my dirty, bloody clothes in the bottom of my laundry basket, putting on new jeans and a button-up shirt (that I didn't have to pull over my head) as carefully as I could.

I managed to do this one-handed and keep both garments blood-free.

"Hurry up," Jacob called.

"Okay, okay," I shouted back. After making sure I left nothing incriminating behind me, I headed downstairs, Lee and Jacob both standing at the foot.

"How do I look?" I asked them

"Better," he admitted.

"But do I look like I tripped in Jake’s garage and hit my head on a hammer?"

"Sure,” Lee shrugged.

"Let's go then."

Jacob hurried me out the door, and tried to insist on driving before Lee snatched the keys back and settled him with a glare. We were halfway to the hospital when I realized Jacob was still shirtless.

I frowned guiltily. "We should have grabbed you a jacket."

"That would have given us away," he teased. "Besides, it's not cold."

"Are you kidding?" I shivered and reached out to turn the heat on.

Lee shook his head, “You might wanna have them check to see if you’re anaemic or something, Beau. It feels fine.”

I narrowed my eyes, looking back and forth at both of them to see if they were just acting tough, but they looked comfortable enough.

Jake had a protective arm around me, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t huddling up against him for warmth.

I had to have seven stitches to close the cut on my forehead. After the sting of the local anaesthetic, there was no pain in the procedure. Jacob held my hand, which caused Lee to roll his eyes until he came over to the other side to rub soothing circles in my back.

We were at the hospital forever. By the time I was done, I had to drop Jacob and Lee off at the Black’s and hurry back to cook dinner for Charlie. Charlie seemed to buy my story about falling in Jacob's garage. After all, it wasn't like I hadn't been able to land myself in the ER before with no more help than my own feet before.

The next Wednesday, before I could get home from the ER, Dr. Gerandy called to warn my dad that I might possibly have a concussion and advised him to wake me up every two hours through the night to make sure it wasn't serious. Charlie's eyes narrowed suspiciously at my weak explanation about tripping again.

"Maybe you should just stay out of the garage altogether, Beau," he suggested that night during dinner.

I panicked, worried that Charlie was about to lay down some kind of edict that would prohibit La Push. Jacob and Lee were there. As was my motorcycle.

"Charlie's getting nosy," I complained to Jacob and Lee when I picked them up after school Friday.

"Maybe we should cool it with the bikes." Lee suggested, “At least for a week or so. You could stay out of the hospital for a week, right?"

"What are we going to do?" I griped.

Jacob smiled cheerfully. "Whatever you want."

I shrugged, I thought briefly about asking them to go hiking to the meadow with me. I had been thinking about seeking it out, seeing if any comfort could be found in it, but I didn’t think anyone would want to see the possible breakdown I would have if I ended up there.

“Lee, any suggestions?”

Lee looked a little surprised that I was asking his opinion, and it was then that I realised that we hadn’t really asked him to do much outside of the motorcycles.

“I would suggest that we could go back to my place, but Harry is making a giant load of fish fry tonight, and no matter how good it tastes that shit stinks when it’s cooking.”

Jake and I both chuckled at that.

“Alright, do you guys want to come over to mine? No temptation from the bikes, and we could do… something.”

I grimaced when I thought about the fact that I didn’t really do much. I mostly read and cooked, and more recently rode a motorcycle.

Lee chuckled, “Alright, let’s all go do “something” at Swan’s.”

We all ended up in the kitchen, me trying to show Jacob and Lee how to bake cupcakes, since Jacob really wanted some.

Jacob was decent enough at cooking, probably having to pick up some things from taking care of Billy, but when it came to baking, he didn’t understand the need to follow a recipe.

“It’s close enough!”

“Jacob Black you can’t just pour in a cup of flour more and think it’ll turn out fine!”

“Why not?” Lee was sitting cross-legged on the counter, which was admittedly a little silly due to his height, holding my recipe book in his hands.

“They won’t cook right and then they’ll be gross and dry.” I glared at Jacob, who looked sheepishly at the over-filled measuring cup, and he poured the extra flour back into the bag.

Lee didn’t want to participate so much in the cooking, but he was content enough with watching the two of us bicker.

Jacob flicked batter at me from the spoon he was supposed to be washing.

“Black!”

He laughed and that ended up with us tossing various cooking ingredients at each other, eventually Lee got roped in when Jake ducked last minute and the egg I had aiming for his head hit Lee square in the face.

“Ohmygod Lee I’m sorry-”

He cut me off by lobbing half a stick of butter square at my chest.

“I’m not.” By the time the cupcake timer went off the entirety of the kitchen was covered in various baking ingredients and the three of us were sprawled on the kitchen floor, laughing hard.

I hadn’t laughed like this since before my disastrous birthday. Probably long before that even, if I was being honest with myself.

I got the cupcakes out of the oven, set both tins on a rack to cool, and levelled them both with a look.

“Okay, we are getting this place cleaned up, and then we are each taking a shower so I can have a clean kitchen to cook dinner in.” I glared at Jacob, and his unapologetic smirk didn’t even irritate me.

Lee chuckled, “How about we clean up, shower, and then just eat cupcakes for dinner so the dumbass over there doesn’t lead another baking riot.”

I thought for a second, “Or we could clean up, get showered, and I’ll ask Charlie to pick up pizza on his way home?”

They both nodded at that and I sighed at the kitchen.

I hadn’t even gotten around to making the frosting.

We got the kitchen cleaned up in about 45 minutes between the three of us, and Lee and I both agreed to let Jacob take a shower first.

We had both turned on him, and he had enough flour and butter in his long hair to bake another batch of cupcakes.

I went up to Charlie’s room, grabbing the largest shirt and a pair of sweatpants I could find, making sure to get an extra towel from the closet for him.

I grabbed another shirt and sweatpants for Lee, as well as a large hoodie just in case, and set them on my bed before heading back downstairs.

“I set you out some more clothes on my bed. You’ll have to wear some of Charlie’s though, I’m too short for you both to fit mine.” I chuckled and shook my head. “How tall are you anyways, Lee?”

Lee rolled his eyes, “A perfectly normal height if you weren’t so tiny.”

I stuck my tongue out at him, and walked over to the counter to make the cream cheese frosting, “5 foot 4 isn’t that small.”

Lee made a choking sound and I looked over at him; he came to stand about a foot away from me, and I had to tilt my head all the way back to meet his eyes.

“I’m 6 feet and five inches tall.” I couldn’t help the amazed look on my face.

“That is seriously impressive, holy crow.” The only person I knew who was taller than him was Jacob, and that wasn’t by much. I was mildly jealous of the fact he was able to get so tall, but I had come to terms with my height a few years back. Mostly. He gave me a strange look before he started laughing.

“’Holy crow’?” I felt my face redden, and his laughter increased, “Please, Beau. Just say ‘fuck.’”

I glared at him and went back to my frosting.

He leaned up against the counter I was working on, a little closer than he had been before.

“The whole “innocent boy” thing would be so annoying if it weren’t cute.”

I whipped my head up to look at him, shock coursing through me. I felt my whole face heat up.

His face was towards the opposite wall, but he was looking at me from the corner of his eye’s, and he had a small smirk on his lips.

I realised it was the first kinda nice thing he had ever said to me.

Just then Jacob came barrelling down the stairs, and Lee was disappearing up.

Jacob came to a stop and looked at me for a second.

“What?”

Once I was done with my shower I changed into my own sweatpants and t-shirt. I hesitated a moment before leaving my backup binder in the drawer, opting instead for a large dark sweater over my t-shirt.

I came down just as Charlie got home, laying the three pizzas he picked up on the table.

“The cupcakes smell good, Beau.”

He hung up his ranger jacket, and sat next to Jacob, leaving the only other seat at the table next to Lee.

I slid in next to him, trying to keep most of my blush at bay while we ate.

I didn’t know what had gotten into me.

Jacob made up most of the conversation, talking to Charlie about the giant bears in the woods like it was a silly story to tell children. Lee occasionally added in some of the things he’d heard around the rez, and I was content to sit back and watch it all.

Jacob and Lee helped me clean up and put away the leftover pizza, and it was while we were eating the cupcakes that Charlie made the suggestion.

“Why don’t you two spend the night tonight? It’s getting pretty late, and I could call Billy and Harry to ask.”

Jacob looked excited and Lee looked hesitantly pleased by the idea.

I was a little nervous. I had been getting better about the nightmares, but if I managed to have one that night then they might see just how bad I was doing.

Charlie looked at me, silently asking if that was what I wanted.

“Actually, dad that sounds like a good idea. If you guys want.”

I hadn’t had had a normal human sleepover in as long as I could remember, but I didn’t want this night to end.

“Hell yeah I’m in!” Jacob smiled at me.

I looked over to Lee and he considered for a moment before something crossed his face.

“Yeah, let’s do it.”

Charlie went and called the Black and Clearwater houses while I went to set up where we’d be sleeping.

We all agreed that we could camp out in the living room for the night, and the three of us giddily gathered up all the comforters and sheets we could find to pile on the floor. We moved the coffee table out of the way, and together we put out a big pallet.

At first, I was expecting Charlie to be a little worried about Lee, Jacob, and I all sleeping in the same place, but Charlie just came in with three large bowls of popcorn and said everything was set.

“Do you kids need anything?”

I looked to the both of them and they shook their heads, and I shook mine.

“No thank you, dad. I think we’re good.” I beamed up at him, and I saw in his face a mixture of relief and joy.

I really had worried him.

He plopped down into his chair and nodded.

Jacob had already scooped up the remote and was looking through what was on while Lee sorted through our DVD and VCR movies.

I smiled at the both of them.

After a few minutes Lee made a loud noise. I realised after a moment it was a sound of excitement; I had never seen him look this gleeful.

He turned towards us with a still wrapped in plastic VCR set.

“We have to watch these movies.”

I raised an eyebrow at him, and he handed me the unwrapped set.

“’Alien Trilogy’?”

I heard Charlie and Jake both chuckle at the same time, “Billy bought me that years ago.” Charlie explained, “He asked me to babysit the kids and the twins managed to convince me that they watched those movies all the time. I didn’t know what it was at the time, so I let them all watch the first one. They were both scared half to death by the time Billy came to pick them up, and Jake here wouldn’t stop crying.” He shook his head, “Billy bought me those specifically so I would never forget I was played by a couple of twelve-year-olds.”

I half-forced a laugh out.

He was telling this story with a fond look in his eyes, and I realised that Charlie and I didn’t have many memories before I moved in the year before, and even less of fun little moments like this.

It hurt.

I took a moment to collect myself and felt a warmth against my arm.

Lee sat next to me, his arm brushing my own, and I had to choke back tears at the show of silent support. He didn’t look at me or draw attention to my own turmoil, but he let me place my head on his shoulder to ground myself.

After a solid minute, I unwrapped the set and handed the first movie to Jacob, “Let’s get to it then.”


	2. Chapter 2

Time began to trip along much more quickly than before. School, work, and Jacob and Lee, though not necessarily in that order, created a neat and effortless pattern to follow. And Charlie got his wish: I wasn't miserable anymore.

I hadn’t been keeping track of the days, so I was surprised by the date when Jacob and Lee brought it up on one of our homework days. He had easily joined our little group on our non-motorcycle hangouts.

They were both on the porch when I pulled up to the Clearwater house, our location for the day.

"Happy Valentine's Day," Jacob said, smiling amusedly.

He held out a small, pink box, balancing it on his palm. Conversation hearts.

"Well, I feel like a schmuck," I mumbled. "Is today Valentine's Day?"

Jacob shook his head with mock sadness. "You can be so out of it sometimes. Yes, it is the fourteenth day of February. So, are you going to be my Valentine? Since you didn't get me a fifty-cent box of candy, it's the least you can do."

I rolled my eyes at him and Lee handed me another small box, this time of the little box of chocolate candies.

“Who wants to be your Valentine, Black? Beau has plenty of other, legally adult options for Valentine’s day.”

I felt my face flush a little and I threw my arms around the both of them, laughing.

“Alright, guys. I’ll bake you whatever you want next time we go to my place to make it up. You can both be my Valentines.”

They both laughed and hugged me back, Lee a little more hesitantly than Jacob.

We made our way inside, and we set up our homework station at the kitchen table.

“So, what are we doing tomorrow? Bikes or something else?” Jacob asked. I knew I was getting pretty good at the bikes, so that seemed like a decent idea, until I remembered that I already had plans.

"I'm going to a movie Friday. I've been promising my cafeteria crowd that I would go out forever."

Lee and Jacob’s face both fell.

"You'll both come too, right?" I added quickly.

"You'd like me to come, with your friends there?" Lee asked incredulously.

"Yes," I admitted honestly, "I'll have a lot more fun if you're there. Bring Quil too, and we'll make it a party. I haven’t seen him around in forever."

"Quil's gunna freak." Jake chuckled and rolled his eyes. I didn't mention Embry, and neither did Lee. I laughed, too.

Lee met my eyes across the table, and I gave him a shy smile.

I brought it up with Mike in English the next day and talked him into making it a group thing.

Jessica and Lauren already had plans, but they promised to be at the next one. Eric and Katie were also busy, it was their three-week anniversary or something. Lauren had already invited Tyler and Conner before Mike, so those two were also busy. Even Quil was out, grounded for fighting at school. In the end, only Angela and Ben, and, of course Jacob and Lee, were able to go.

When I got home from school, a very familiar car was parked in front of my house. Jacob and Lee were leaning against the hood, a huge grin lighting up Jacob’s face.

"No way!" I shouted as I jumped out of the truck. "You're done! I can't believe it! You finished the Rabbit!"

He beamed. "Just last night. This is the maiden voyage."

"Incredible." I held my hand up for a high five.

He smacked his hand against mine, “So, do I get to drive tonight?”

Lee scrunched up his nose, “Oh great, we’re letting children drive now,”

Jacob glared at her, “I’ve been driving for a couple years already thankyouverymuch.”

“You’ve had your license how long though?” Lee raised an eyebrow at him, and Jacob flushed.

“Shut up.”

Mike's Suburban chugged around the corner.

"I remember this guy," he said in a low voice as Mike parked across the street. "The one who thought you were his boyfriend. Is he still confused?"

Lee turned towards Mike’s car and levelled his best glare at him. I had to admit it was impressive.

“He’s harmless. Just annoying.”

Jacob nodded, “Alright, let me know if you want Lee and I to scare him a little though.”

I tried to smother the chuckle as Mike walked up.

"Hey, Beau," he greeted me, and then his eyes turned wary as he looked up at Jacob and Lee. I glanced briefly at them too, trying to be objective. Jacob really didn't look like a sophomore at all. He was just so big, Mike's head barely cleared Jacob's shoulder; then his face was older looking than it used to be, even a month ago. Lee was just as imposing as Jacob was, with the added benefit of being an actual adult, and his eyes were pure steel as they stared at him.

"Hey, Mike! Do you remember Jacob Black?"

"Not really." Mike held out his hand.

"Old family friend," Jacob introduced himself, shaking hands. They locked hands with more force than necessary. When their grip broke, Mike flexed his fingers.

“This is Lee Clearwater; I don’t know if you’ve ever met.”

I saw Mike gulp, as he held his hand out to him, “Haven’t had the pleasure.”

Lee didn’t even bother lifting his hand up.

Mike put his hand back down awkwardly.

I heard the phone ringing from the kitchen.

"I'd better get that, it might be Charlie," I told them, and dashed inside.

It was Ben. Angela was sick with the stomach flu, and he didn't feel like coming without her. He apologized for bailing on us.

I walked slowly back to the waiting group, shaking my head. I really hoped Angela would feel better soon, but I had been hoping for a larger group to curb Mike’s… enthusiasm.

Oh boy.

It didn't seem like they had made any progress towards friendship in my absence. They were several yards apart, Jacob and Lee having their own conversation while waiting for me; Mike's expression was sullen, Lee’s was creeping up on murderous, though Jacob's was cheerful as always.

"Ang is sick," I told them glumly. "Her and Ben aren't coming."

"I guess the flu is making another round. Austin and Conner were out today, too. Maybe we should do this another time," Mike suggested.

I turned to Lee and Jake, silently asking them what they thought.

Jacob shrugged, “I’m still up for it if Lee and Beau are, but if you’d rather stay behind, Mike-”

"No, I'm coming," Mike interrupted. "I was just thinking of Angela and Ben. Let's go." He started toward his Suburban.

"Hey, do you mind if Jacob drives?" I asked. "I told him he could; he just finished his car. He built it from scratch, all by himself," I bragged, proud as a PTA dad with a student on the principal's list.

"Fine," Mike snapped.

"All right, then," Jacob said, as if that settled everything. He seemed more comfortable than anyone else.

Mike climbed into the backseat with a disgusted expression, and I climbed back there with him, not wanting to subject Lee to his attitude or the smaller foot-space.

Once we were in, Lee twisted in his seat as best as he could to look at me.

Jacob was his normal sunny self, chattering away with Lee and I until I'd all but forgotten Mike sulking silently next to me.

Until Mike changed his strategy. He leaned back, throwing his arm over the back of the seat, leaning closer to me until our faces were only inches apart.

I twisted in the bench seat until my back was to the window.

Lee’s glare only increased.

"Doesn't the radio work in this thing?" Mike asked with a hint of petulance, interrupting Jacob mid-sentence.

"Yes," Jacob answered. “But Beau doesn’t really like music.”

I stared at Jacob, surprised. I'd never told him that.

“Beau?” Mike asked, annoyed.

“He's right,” I mumbled.

"How can you not like music?" Mike demanded.

Lee answered before I could, “People have preferences, Mark. Beau is allowed to like and not like whatever he wants.”

"Hmph." Mike leaned away.

I shot Lee a grateful look and tried to not laugh at the purposeful mistake.

I was glad that my two friends were understanding without my having to explain. The music the played through the speakers at work were enough to put me on edge, the slowly healing hole in my chest throbbing with the sounds. Music was too linked in my head to _him_.

When we got to the theatre, Jacob handed me a ten-dollar bill.

"What's this?" I objected.

"I'm not old enough to get into this one," he reminded me.

I laughed out loud. "So much for relative ages. Is Billy going to kill me if I sneak you in?"

"No. I told him you and Lee were already corrupting my youthful innocence."

Lee snickered, and Mike quickened his pace to keep up with us.

I almost wished that Mike had decided to bow out. He was still sullen, not much of an addition to the party.

The movie was exactly what it professed to be. In just the opening credits, four people got blown up and one got beheaded. The girl in front of me put her hands over her eyes and turned her face into her date's chest. She patted her shoulder, and winced occasionally, too. Mike didn't look like he was watching. His face was stiff as he glared toward the fringe of curtain above the screen.

I settled in to endure the two hours, watching the colours and the movement on the screen rather than seeing the shapes of people and cars and houses. But then Jacob started sniggering. Lee following soon after.

"What?" I whispered.

"Oh, c'mon!" he hissed back. "The blood squirted twenty feet out of that guy. How fake can you get?"

He chuckled again, as a flagpole speared another man into a concrete wall.

After that, I really watched the show, laughing with the two as the mayhem got more and more ridiculous.

About halfway through the movie, Mike leaned forward to put his head in his hands. At first, I thought he was reacting to something on the screen, but then he moaned.

"Mike, are you okay?” I whispered.

The couple in front of us turned to look at him as he groaned again.

I could see the sheen of sweat across his face in the light from the screen.

Mike groaned again and bolted for the door. I got up to follow him, and Jacob and Lee copied me immediately.

"No, stay," I whispered. "I'll make sure he's okay."

They came with me anyway.

"You don't have to come. Get your eight bucks worth of carnage," I insisted as we walked up the aisle.

"That's okay. You sure can pick them, Beau. This movie really sucks." His voice rose from a whisper to its normal pitch as we walked out of the theatre.

There was no sign of Mike in the hallway, and when I hesitated at the door, I was glad then that Jacob had come with me; he ducked into the men's bathroom to check for him there.

Jacob was back in a few seconds.

"Oh, he's in there, all right," he said, rolling his eyes. "What a marshmallow.”

Lee snickered, “A ‘ _marshmallow’_ , Jacob? Please tell me you have better insults than that.”

Jacob rolled his eyes, “I didn’t think I should say one of those naughty words in front of Beau’s precious ears.”

I playfully shoved Jacob and groaned when he didn’t budge.

“Stop growing so I can bully you.”

Jacob laughed and went to sit on the velveteen-upholstered bench against the wall, patting the space beside him.

"He sounded like he was going to be in there for a while," he said, stretching his long legs out in front of him as he settled in to wait.

Lee plopped down on the other side, and I had to manage squeezing myself in between my two behemoth best friends.

Lee stretched his arm along the back of the bench, and Jake held out his hand for me to hold. I leaned against Lee’s side comfortably, looking to him for confirmation that it was alright.

Jacob absently traced designs against the side of my hand.

"That's a funny scar you've got there," he suddenly said, twisting my hand to examine it. "How did that happen?"

The index finger of his free hand followed the line of the long silvery crescent that was barely visible against my pale skin.

I scowled. "Do you honestly expect me to remember where all my scars come from?"

"It's cold," he murmured, pressing lightly against the place where James had cut me with his teeth.

And then Mike stumbled out of the bathroom, his face ashen and covered in sweat. He looked horrible.

"Oh, Mike," I gasped.

"Do you mind leaving early?" he whispered.

"No, of course not." I went to help Mike walk. He looked unsteady.

"Movie too much for you?" Lee asked.

Mike's glare was malevolent. "I didn't actually see any of it," he mumbled. "I was nauseated before the lights went down."

"Why didn't you say something?" I scolded as we staggered toward the exit.

"I was hoping it would pass," he said.

"Just a sec," Jacob said as we reached the door. He walked quickly back to the concession stand.

"Could I have an empty popcorn bucket?" he asked the salesgirl. She looked at Mike once, and then thrust a bucket at Jacob.

"Get him outside, please," she begged. She was obviously the one who would have to clean the floor.

I towed Mike out into the cool, wet air. He inhaled deeply. Jacob and Lee were right behind us. Lee and I both looked at each other and made a silent agreement. We both climbed into the back of the Rabbit, and Jacob settled Mike in the front, handing him the bucket with a serious gaze.

"Please," was all Jacob said.

We rolled down the windows, letting the icy night air blow through the car, hoping it would help Mike. I curled my arms around my legs to keep warm.

"Cold, again?" Lee asked, putting his arm around me before I could answer.

"You're not?"

He shook his head.

“Beau’s cold, _again?_ ”

Lee nodded, even though Jacob couldn’t see her.

“Yeah, he’s like an ice cube.”

I reached forward to put my cold hands on the back of his neck in revenge, and his skin was _hot_.

“Jake, you’re burning up!”

He shrugged, “I feel fine, fit as a fiddle.”

I shook my head, “Lee, feel him.”

Lee leaned forward and did the same before shrugging, “He’s a little warm but he doesn’t feel like he’s burning up.”

I frowned and touched his forehead. His skin blazed under my fingers.

"Your hands are like ice," he complained.

"Maybe it's me," I allowed.

Mike groaned in the front seat and threw up in the bucket. I grimaced, hoping my own stomach could stand the sound and smell. Jacob checked anxiously next to him to make sure his car wasn't defiled.

The road felt longer on the way back.

Jacob was quiet, thoughtful.

Lee left his arm around me, and it was so warm that the cold wind felt good.

I drove Mike home in his Suburban, while Jacob and Lee followed behind us to take me home. Jacob was quiet all the way back to my house, and Lee looked content to just lean his head up against the open window.

"I would invite myself in, since we're early," he said as we pulled up next to my truck. "But I think you might be right about the fever. I'm starting to feel a little… strange."

“Oh no, not you too!” I absentmindedly set my hand on Lee’s shoulder, “Maybe Lee should drive you home.”

"Yeah..." He shook his head, his eyebrows pulling together. "I don't feel sick yet. Just… wrong.”

"Will you call me as soon as you get in?" I asked anxiously.

"Sure, sure." He frowned, staring ahead into the darkness, and biting his lip.

We all got out, Lee moving to the driver’s side just in case Jacob got unsteady.

Lee ruffled my hair, “I’ll get him home safe, Beau. But I swear if he pukes on me you owe me. For life.”

I chuckled slightly, still worried about the other teenager.

“That’s fair. I want you to call me when you get home too, okay?” I squeezed his arm and pulled him into a quick hug. “And don’t go getting sick on me too.”

A strange look crossed his face. "I really think I'd better get him home now," he said.

Lee got in the car.

"Call me!" I yelled as they pulled away.

I went inside to sit by the phone and bite my nails.

"Movie over already?" Charlie asked in surprise when I came in. He was on the floor, just a foot from the TV. Must be an exciting game.

"Mike got sick," I explained. "Some kind of stomach flu. Then Jake started feeling weird, so Lee drove him home."

"You okay?"

"I feel fine now," I said doubtfully. Clearly, I'd been exposed.

I leaned against the kitchen counter, my hand inches from the phone, and tried to wait patiently.

I watched the clock as the minutes ticked by Ten. Fifteen. Even when I was driving, it took only fifteen minutes, and Lee drove faster than I did. Eighteen minutes.

The phone rang, “Hey, are you okay?”

I hear Lee’s chuckle on the other end, “Yeah I’m fine. I don’t even feel sick.”

My eyebrow furrowed. “Did Jake get in?”

“Yeah, I made sure to get him in the door and everything so you wouldn’t worry. He hasn’t called you yet?”

I shook my head, forgetting for a second that he couldn’t see me. “No, I thought it was him calling when the phone rang.”

“Huh.” Lee sounded calm, if not a little annoyed, so I figured it was just my own paranoia getting to me, “Want me to drive back down there and check on him?”

I considered it for a second.

“No, I’ll just call. If Jake doesn’t answer then Billy will at least.”

“Alright, let me know how he is.”

“Will do. ‘Night, Lee.”

“’Night, Beau.”

I picked up the phone and dialled again.

It rang and rang. Maybe they were asleep. Maybe I'd dialled wrong. I tried again.

On the eighth ring, just as I was about to hang up, Billy answered.

"Hello?" he asked. His voice was wary, like he was expecting bad news.

“Billy, it’s me, Beau. Jake wasn’t feeling well when he left, and Lee said Jake got in. He was supposed to call me…”

"He was… too sick to call. He's not feeling well right now." Billy sounded distant. I realized he must want to be with Jacob.

"Let me know if you need any help," I offered. "I could come down." I thought of Billy, stuck in his chair, and Jake fending for himself…

"No, no," Billy said quickly. "We're fine. Stay at your place."

The way he said it was almost rude.

"Okay," I agreed.

“Bye, Beau.”

The line disconnected.

"Bye," I muttered.

Well, at least he'd made it home. Oddly, I didn't feel less worried.

I called the Clearwater’s house again, letting Lee know that Jacob was just too sick to call.

“Alright, don’t worry too much then, Jake should be fine.”

“Maybe I should go down before work tomorrow to check on him. Maybe take him some soup.” I was sure we had to have a can of Campbell's around here somewhere.

Lee stopped me.

“He’s gunna be alright, Beau. If Billy needs anything you know he’ll call. Besides, We’re closer to him. I can check up on him and not wake the whole rez.”

I rolled my eyes, Lee putting me at ease for now.

“Alright, fine.”

We said our good nights again, and I made my way to bed.

I woke up early, my clock said four thirty, and sprinted to the bathroom. Charlie found me there a half hour later, lying on the floor, my cheek pressed against the cold edge of the bathtub.

He looked at me for a long moment.

"Stomach flu," he finally said.

"Yes," I moaned.

"You need something?" he asked.

"Call the Newtons for me, please," I instructed hoarsely. "Tell them I have what Mike has, and that I can't make it in today. Tell them I'm sorry."

"Sure, no problem," Charlie assured me.

I spent the rest of the day on the bathroom floor, sleeping for a few hours with my head on a crumpled-up towel.

Charlie had to work, but he hesitated by the door, leaving a glass of water by the floor to keep me hydrated.

It woke me up when he came back home. I could see that it was dark in my room, after nightfall. He clumped up the stairs to check on me.

"Still alive?"

"Sort of," I said.

“Harry called, said Lee was sick too.”

I mumbled something into the towel.

"Yeah… Do you want anything?"

"No, thanks."

He stood there, out of his element, but still trying to figure out how to help, "Okay, then," he said, and then he went back down to the kitchen.

I heard the phone ring a few minutes later. Charlie spoke to someone in a low voice for a moment, and then hung up.

"Mike feels better," he called up to me.

Well, that was encouraging. He'd only gotten sick eight hours or so before me. Eight more hours. The thought made my stomach turn, and I pulled myself up to lean over the toilet.

I fell asleep on the towel again, but when I woke up, I was in my bed and it was light outside my window.

I didn't remember moving; Charlie must have carried me to my room. I felt a rush of affection and gratitude for my dad. He'd also put the glass of water on my bedside table. I was parched. I chugged it down, though it tasted funny from sitting stagnant all night.

I got up slowly, trying not to trigger the nausea again. I was weak, and my mouth tasted horrible, but my stomach felt fine. I looked at my clock.

My twenty-four hours were up.

I didn't push it, eating nothing but saltine crackers for breakfast. Charlie looked relieved to see me recovered.

As soon as I was sure that I wasn't going to have to spend the day on the bathroom floor again, I called Jacob. Lee probably got sick after me, so I didn’t want to disturb him if he was resting.

Jacob was the one who answered, but when I heard his greeting, I knew he wasn't over it.

"Hello?" His voice was broken, cracking.

"Oh, Jake," I groaned sympathetically. "You sound horrible."

"I feel horrible," he whispered.

"I'm so sorry I made you go out with me. This sucks."

"I'm glad I went." His voice was still a whisper. "Don't blame yourself. This isn't your fault."

"You'll get better soon," I promised. "I woke up this morning, and I was fine."

"You were sick?" he asked dully.

"Yes, I got it. Charlie said that Lee got it too, but I'm fine now."

"That's good." His voice was dead.

"So, you'll probably be better in a few hours," I encouraged.

I could barely hear his answer. "I don't think I have the same thing you did."

"Don't you have the stomach flu?" I asked, confused.

"No. This is something else."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Everything," he whispered. "Every part of me hurts."

The pain in his voice was nearly tangible.

"What can I do, Jake? What can I bring you?"

"Nothing. You can't come here." He was abrupt. It reminded me of Billy the other night.

"I've already been exposed to whatever you have," I pointed out.

He ignored me. "I'll call you when I can. I'll let you know when you can come down again."

"Jacob-"

"I've got to go," he said with sudden urgency.

"Call me when you feel better."

"Right," he agreed, and his voice had a strange, bitter edge.

He was silent for a moment. I was waiting for him to say goodbye, but he waited too.

"I'll see you soon," I finally said.

"Wait for me to call," he said again.

"Okay… Bye, Jacob."

"Beau," he whispered my name, and then hung up the phone.

I stared at the phone for a second, hanging it back up just for it to ring immediately.

I snatched it up quickly, maybe Jacob was suddenly feeling a lot better.

“Yes?”

“So, I heard we all pulled the short stick.”

“Lee?”

“Yeah, you back to normal? Or normal for you at least?”

I sighed; Lee’s teasing was a comfort right now.

“Yeah…”

He was quiet for a second.

“Beau? Are you still sick?”

I hesitated, “No, I just called Jake and… I don’t know. He said that he didn’t have the flu, but he was acting really weird…”

Lee made a sound in the back of his throat, “Damn, hope we don’t get whatever he has then.”

“He just… he said I couldn’t come down there, and he just sounded so different, Lee. I don’t know what to do.”

“Let me ask you this, Beau. Have you ever been around Jake when he’s sick?”

I thought about it for a second. I don’t think I had, “No…”

“Alright, well people act not like themselves while sick, Jake’s probably no different.”

I sighed again but conceded.

Jake didn’t call again.

The first time I called, Billy answered and told me that Jacob was still in bed. I got nosy, checking to make sure that Billy had taken him to a doctor. Billy said he had, but for some reason I couldn't nail down, I didn't really believe him. I called again, several times a day, for the next two days, but no one was ever there.

Lee agreed that it was strange, and when we hung out, he got a weird look in his eyes.

He said that he hadn’t seen Jacob at school, so he was clearly still too sick to go.

The next Saturday, I decided to go see him, invitation be damned. Lee sat in the passenger side of the truck, half-heartedly trying to discourage me, but I saw his worry too.

The little red house was empty.

This frightened me, and I was worried that Jacob had been so sick that he’d had to go to the hospital, but Lee talked me out of driving to the hospital to check.

“If Jake’s in the hospital, my dad will know about it, so let’s just go ask him first, okay?”

It seemed that Harry had been in the hospital, some kind of tests for his heart. Lee looked worried about that, even after Harry tried to laugh it off, and I considered joining up with Sue to encourage Harry to take better care of himself.

Lee shouldn’t have to worry about his dad this much.

We figured out there had been some issues with the phone lines on that side of the rez, and that Billy had taken him to the doctor there. Jake had mono and Billy said he was very tired and no visitors.

Lee and I were up in his room when I started to pace, Harry had left so I wasn’t so worried about him hearing.

“Mono?! We can’t visit Jake because of mono?!”

Lee shook his head, but he looked distracted still.

“Billy makes the rules, Jake’ll call us when he can.”

I decided to cool it, he was worried about his dad and I didn’t want to bother him with this.

I couldn’t help but wonder…Why did I feel so… so suspicious, like I didn't believe Billy's story? Why would Billy lie to Harry?

I was being silly, probably. I was just worried, and, to be honest, I was afraid of not being allowed to see Jacob, that made me nervous.

He was the little sunshine of our trio, always joking around and making everything feel light.

Lee was amazing as a friend, and I loved spending time with him, but I missed Jacob a lot.

I decided I’d give Billy a week before I got obnoxious about it. There’s no way Jacob would be able to stay sane in bed alone for longer than that.

On Wednesday, Lee was sprawled across my couch, his feet propped in my lap while we did our homework.

Neither of us had been quite in a talking mood, both upset with the recent events.

I looked up at him, “Have you heard from Quil recently? Maybe he’s talked to Jake or something.”

Lee paused his reading and shook his head, “I already asked him at school. Jake’s gone full M.I.A.”

I stared blankly at the math work in front of me.

“I didn’t think Jake would actually go along with Billy’s no-contact rule.”

“Me neither, he’s not exactly the solitary confinement type.”

I was relieved beyond measure the morning I woke up and remembered that it was Saturday. Today I could call Jacob. And if the phone lines still weren't working, then I was going to La Push for reasons other than to take up space in the Clearwater home.

I dialled, and then waited without high expectations.

It caught me off guard when Billy answered on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Oh, hey, the phone is working again! Hi, Billy. It's Beau. I was just calling to see how Jacob is doing. Is he up for visitors yet? Lee and I were thinking about dropping by-”

“I’m sorry, Beau,” Billy interrupted, and I wondered if he was watching TV; he sounded distracted.

"He's not in."

"Oh." It took me a second. “So, he's feeling better then?"

"Yeah," Billy hesitated for an instant too long. "Turns out it wasn't mono after all. Just some other virus."

"Oh. So… where is he?"

"He's giving some friends a ride up to Port Angeles; I think they were going to catch a double feature or something. He's gone for the whole day."

"Well, that's a relief. Lee and I've been so worried. I'm glad he felt good enough to get out." I was genuinely happy that he was feeling better, but a separate part of me wanted to cry.

Jacob was better, but not well enough to call me. He was out with friends. I was sitting home, missing him more every hour.

"Is there anything in particular you wanted?" Billy asked politely.

"No, not really."

"Well, I'll tell him that you called," Billy promised. "Bye, Beau."

"Bye," I replied, but he'd already hung up.

I stood for a moment with the phone still in my hand.

After a minute I dialled the Clearwater house.

Sue answered with her usual cheery voice.

“Clearwater residence.”

“Hey, Sue. It’s Beau. Is Lee in?”

“Yes, hold on-” her voice grew further away, “Lee! Beau is on the phone!” After a second, where I assume Lee was responding, she returned, “Here he is, Beau.”

“Thanks, Sue.”

“Hey, Beau.” Lee’s voice was less strained than it had been.

“Hey, Lee. How is everything?”

I heard his sigh, “Harry’s results came back, they aren’t as bad as we thought.”

“That’s great!”

“Yeah, they’re still putting him on blood-thinners, and mom’s been harassing him into eating vegetables, but it’s looking like he’ll be alright.”

“Finally, never underestimate the power of Sue Clearwater.”

I heard a small chuckle from his and felt marginally better.

I wasn’t completely alone. I still had Lee.

“Have you stalked Jacob today?”

I frowned.

“Billy said he was out with friends.” I deadpanned.

“He WHAT?!”

I had to pull the phone back from my ear for a second, Lee shouting some words I’m sure Sue would not approve of. I was correct in my assumption when I heard her chastising him on the other end.

“Sorry, mom.”

“Yeah, said it wasn’t mono and now he’s seeing a double feature in Port Angeles.”

“I’m going to kill that little brat!”

I couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment.

“I just can’t understand why he didn’t call us if he was feeling better, you know?”

Lee was quiet for a minute on the other line, then his voice turned into a whisper, “Hey can I come over?”

I was startled by the change in subject but agreed quickly.

"Something wrong?" Charlie asked as he came down the stairs.

"No," I lied, hanging up the phone. "Billy says Jacob is feeling better. It wasn't mono. So that's good."

"Is he coming here, or are you going there?" Charlie asked absentmindedly as he started poking through the fridge.

"Neither," I admitted. "He's going out with some other friends, and Lee’s coming over here."

He looked up at me with sudden alarm, his hands frozen around a package of cheese slices.

"Isn't it a little early for lunch?" I asked as lightly as I could manage, trying to distract him.

"No, I'm just packing something to take out to the river…"

"Oh, fishing today?"

"Well, Harry called… and it's not raining." He was creating a stack of food on the counter as he spoke. He paused, turning to me with a worried expression, “Will you two be okay here on your own?”

He stared at me, indecision clear on his face. I knew that he was worrying that I would get "mopey" again. It had been a rough week for the two of us.

I smiled, not entirely ungenuine, “Yeah, Lee and I are just going to hang out, dad. Probably watch a movie or do homework.”

Charlie started to turn, but then spun back with a worried expression. "Hey, you'll stay here or at Lee’s, right?"

"Sure, where else?"

"Well, it's just that I want you to be careful to stay out of the woods."

It took me a minute to understand, distracted as I was. "More bear troubles?"

Charlie nodded, frowning. "We've got a missing hiker, the other rangers found his camp early this morning, but no sign of him. There were some really big animal prints… of course those could have come later, smelling the food… Anyway, they're setting traps for it now."

"Oh," I said vaguely. There was only once place I’d go wondering off in the woods for, and I hadn’t even made up my mind whether or not I wanted to.

I still appreciated his worry though.

Lee pulled up on his motorcycle five minutes after Charlie cleared out. I was surprised he managed to get it from the garage, but I doubted Billy would’ve noticed.

“Hey, Lee, what’s going on?”

He moved past me into the house and started pacing in the living room.

He was angry.

I let him pace for a few minutes before I stepped in front of him, being careful not to touch him in case that set him off more.

“Lee, what’s wrong?” He paused, a foot away from me, and I had to crane my neck to see his face.

He finally looked at me, and I realised the look on his face wasn’t just angry. He was _scared_.

“I thought… Beau, I thought I was being paranoid at first. Harry was going in for those tests and I was worried about him and I figured Jacob was just laid up like Billy said. But then you called today and said he was out, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it…”

He took a deep breath, “Sam acted the same way. The _exact_ same way.”

I froze in place, the slow horror dawning on my face.

“Oh no.”

“Yeah.”

We both just looked at each other for a minute.

“What do we do, Lee?”

He shook his head, “I don’t know if there’s anything _to_ do. The council thinks the sun shines out of their asses,” His face twisted, “And like Jacob said, they aren’t doing anything even slightly illegal, so the law is no help.”

“So, Jake is just…”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. I guess.”

I couldn’t believe it.

“No, Jake _hated_ them. He was terrified of Sam! He wouldn’t just go and join them!” Lee reached his arms out, wrapping them around me. I realised then that I was shaking.

“I know. I know, Beau.”

I don’t know how long he held onto me. It took me a minute to gather myself back together.

When I did, I looked up and saw the same pain on his face.

I remembered I wasn’t the only one who felt the loss, and squeezed him tighter, “I’m sorry.”

“What’re you apologising for?”

“I just… I’m freaking out again, and I can’t imagine how this must feel for you.”

Lee tensed in my arms, and I started to pull away, but he just held me in place.

“It’s… not great. Sam… He started acting weird before he pulled his disappearing act, so I at least had some warning. But then he came back, acting different and sneaking off. I thought he was cheating on me, but dad told me that Sam had a ‘duty to the tribe’ or whatever. We were rocky for a while, but I tried to work it out.

“Then Emily comes to visit, and Sam breaks up with me, and… we were like siblings before that. She told me that Sam had tried to ask her out, but she said no. She promised me she’d never do that… and then she had the accident, and I was so worried about her, but it was like a switch flipped with those two; all of a sudden they’re practically married and moving in together and Emily is telling me that she wishes she could explain it to me, but they won’t let her…”

I felt him shaking in my arms and twisted my hands into his shirt. I didn’t ask about what Emily’s accident was, I didn’t think he’d want to talk about it more.

“Then it’s like he’s recruiting a bunch of little kids to leave their friends behind? Drop everything? For what?!”

The shaking increased, and I buried my face into his shoulder, letting him get it out. Who knows how long it had been since he was able to talk to someone about it, or if he even ever could with everyone fawning over Sam Uley.

“It’s not fair, Lee. It isn’t. I’m so sorry. Sam is so stupid for leaving you, and they’re all dumb for taking his side, you deserve better. You deserve so much better.”

The shaking slowly decreased, and we eventually pulled apart.

“Thank you.” He whispered softly.

I just nodded and pulled him into the kitchen. “Want something? I think I still owe you for Valentine’s day.”

I felt a twinge in my chest. It had been a little shy of a month since they both gave me the tiny boxes of candy, and I had already baked them each a giant batch of cookies, but Lee needed to cheer up, and he liked to eat just as much as Jacob did.

Thinking about Jacob made my chest twist. Our little group had only been together for about two months, but considering we were in each other’s pockets it felt like longer.

Lee gave me a half-hearted smile, “Whatever you wanna make is fine with me.”

I thought for a moment, thinking about what I knew about Lee, and smiled when the idea hit me.

I quickly got out all the ingredients, safe from Lee realising what I was making him for a least a few minutes while he finished calming down.

Sue had slipped me the recipe after I nearly begged her for it. I had never seen Lee Clearwater happier than sitting at his mother’s kitchen table eating her blueberry muffins.

I was just pouring the batter into the tins when Lee came up to the counter.

“Are those my mom’s muffins?” His voice was more interested now, and even though I could still feel the sadness around the edges, I was glad my plan seemed to be working.

“Her recipe, yeah. She gave it to me a couple weeks ago.”

I got the muffins in the oven and set the timer, turning back towards him.

He was looking at me with that unreadable expression of his and before I could blink, I was back in his arms.

One of his warm hands was on the back of my neck, the other wrapped around my shoulders. His head was resting on mine.

I felt warm, and safe, and maybe like everything could be okay.

We didn’t move for a while.

Later on, Lee and I were back on the couch. We had gorged ourselves on muffins and were feeling sluggish as we watched the movie Lee had put on.

It featured sentient robots, Will Smith, and sci-fi ethics. The perfect combination for me to zone out.

I already had dinner in the oven, so when Charlie arrived, I didn’t bother moving much, “Hey, dad!”

“Hey, Charlie!”

I heard my dad moving to the freezer to put more fish in, and after a little while he came into the living room, setting himself into his chair.

“Hey, guys. What did you two do today?”

I shrugged. “We’ve just been lounging around watching movies mostly.”

He nodded, and we went back to our movie.

"Hey," Charlie said suddenly, a few minutes later. "Didn't you say Jacob was gone for the day?"

"That's what Billy said," I told him. Lee and I shared a look.

"Huh."

"Why?" I demanded. If Charlie knew anything about what he’d been up to…

"Well, it's just that when I went to pick up Harry, I saw Jacob out in front of the store down there with some of his friends. I waved hi, but he… well, I guess I don't know if he saw me. I think maybe he was arguing with his friends. He looked strange, like he was upset about something. And… different. It's like you can watch that kid growing! He gets bigger every time I see him."

"Billy said Jake and his friends were going up to Port Angeles to see some movies. They were probably just waiting for someone to meet them."

"Oh." Charlie nodded.

“Hey, Charlie. Beau made some blueberry muffins if you want a snack. They’re my mom’s recipe.

Charlie looked excited and got back up, heading to the kitchen.

Lee got up and leaned closer, talking quietly to me so my dad couldn’t hear.

“So, Jacob probably has been swept up in Sam’s shit.”

I just nodded silently, leaning forward to set my head on his shoulder.

The whole situation felt like it couldn’t get any worse.


	3. Chapter 3

The next Friday, I was heading over to the Clearwater’s house. Charlie was working late so Lee was planning on spending the night.

This time he picked the Blade Trilogy for us to watch.

The trees had just started to thin when a figure caught the corner of my eye.

Walking away, along the left side of the road, was a tall boy with a baseball cap.

My breath caught for just a moment in my throat, hopeful that luck was with me for once, and I'd stumbled across Jacob alone. But this boy was too wide, and the hair was shorter under the hat. Even from behind, I was sure it was Quil, though he looked bigger than the last time I'd seen him.

What was with these Quileute kids? Were they feeding them experimental growth hormones?

I crossed over to the wrong side of the road to stop next to him. He looked up when the roar of my truck approached.

Quil's expression frightened me more than it surprised me. His face was bleak, brooding, his forehead creased with worry.

“Oh, hey, Beau.” he greeted me dully.

"Hi, Quil… Are you okay?"

He stared at me morosely. "Fine."

"Can I give you a ride somewhere?" I offered.

"Sure, I guess," he mumbled. He shuffled around the front of the truck and opened the passenger door to climb in.

"Where to?"

"My house is on the north side, back behind the store," he told me.

"Have you seen Jacob today?” I asked, hoping in vain that even if Jacob wasn’t talking to Lee and I, he at least was friends with Quil again.

He stared out the windshield for a second before he spoke. "From a distance," he finally said.

"A distance?" I echoed.

"I tried to follow them; he was with Embry." His voice was low, hard to hear over the engine. I leaned closer. "I know they saw me. But they turned and just disappeared into the trees. I don't think they were alone; I think Sam and his crew might have been with them.

"I've been stumbling around in the forest for an hour, yelling for them. I just barely found the road again when you drove up."

"Sam got to him." The words were a little distorted, my teeth were gritted together.

Quil stared at me. "You know about that?"

I nodded. "Jake told me… before."

"Before," Quil repeated, and sighed.

"Jacob's just as bad as the others now?"

"Never leaves Sam's side." Quil turned his head and spit out the open window.

"And before that, did he avoid everyone? Was he acting upset?"

His voice was low and rough. "Not for as long as the others. Maybe one day. Then Sam caught up with him."

"What do you think it is? Drugs or something?"

"I can't see Jacob or Embry getting into anything like that… but what do I know? What else could it be? And why aren't the old people worried?" He shook his head, and the fear showed in his eyes now. "Jacob didn't want to be a part of this… cult. I don't understand what could change him." He stared at me, his face frightened. " _I don't want to be next_."

My eyes mirrored his fear. That was the second time I'd heard it described as a cult. I shivered. "Are your parents any help?"

He grimaced. "Right. My grandfather's on the council with Jacob's dad. Sam Uley is the best thing that ever happened to this place, as far as he's concerned."

“Lee said the same thing.”

We stared at each other for a prolonged moment. We were in La Push now, and my truck was barely crawling along the empty road. I could see the village's only store not too far ahead.

"I'll get out now," Quil said. "My house is right over there." He gestured toward the small wooden rectangle behind the store. I pulled over to the shoulder, and he jumped out.

“Bye, Quil.”

“Bye.” He slammed the door and shuffled forward along the road, his head bent forward, his shoulders slumped.

Quil's face haunted me as I made a wide U-turn and headed back toward the Clearwater’s. He was terrified of being next. What was happening here?

I pulled up to Lee’s house, and he walked out, I saw Sue lean out of the door to give him a kiss on the cheek.

Lee threw his bag onto the floor of the truck and hopped in the passenger side.

“Hey, Beau.”

“Hey, Lee…”

He looked at me for a few moments before scooting closer.

“What happened?”

I sighed, “I ran into Quil.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah. He’s scared that he’s next.”

Lee nodded, “I don’t blame him; I’ve been terrified that Sam’s gunna turn his eyes to Seth. I haven’t let him out of my sight at school since all this started.”

“Isn’t Seth a little young?”

Lee shrugged, “I don’t know. Jacob, Paul, and Embry are all 16. Seth is 14 so I’m going to hope there’s an age restriction on the gang.”

“Quil called it a cult.”

“Not too far off.”

I looked at him for a minute.

“Do you think… Do you think we should try to go talk to him?”

His eyes turned hard, “I think if I looked at Jacob Black, I’d kill him right now.”

My shoulders slumped. “I just want our Jacob back…”

Lee wrapped an arm around me and pulled me to him.

“I know, Beau.”

He pulled back and searched my face.

“Alright, let’s go beat the shit out of a minor.”

“Lee!”

“Okay, talking to him is a close second.”

I nearly laughed, but I was too scared to.

Lee left his arm on the back of the seat, and I felt comforted by the feel of his warm skin against my neck.

We stopped in front of Jacob's house. I killed the motor and we rolled down the windows. It was stuffy today, no breeze. I put my feet up on the dashboard and settled in to wait.

A movement flashed in my peripheral vision, I turned and spotted Billy looking at me through the front window with a confused expression. I waved once and smiled a tight smile but stayed where I was. Lee just glared at him.

His eyes narrowed; he let the curtain fall across the glass.

“Beau.”

Lee got my attention and nodded towards the group coming towards my truck.

A few feet away most of them stopped, but Jacob came right up to my window.

“What are you doing here?” He growled.

Jacob had changed radically in the last weeks since I'd seen him. The planes of his face seemed to have hardened subtly, tightened… aged. His neck and his shoulders were different, too, thicker somehow. His hands, where they gripped the window frame, looked enormous, with the tendons and veins more prominent under the russet skin. But the physical changes were insignificant.

It was his expression that made him almost completely unrecognizable. The open, friendly smile was gone, the warmth in his dark eyes altered to a brooding resentment that was instantly disturbing. There was a darkness in Jacob now. Like my sun had imploded.

“We came to talk to you, Black.” Lee’s glare was centred on Jacob.

He just stared at me, his eyes tense and angry.

There were four others in the group behind him; all tall and russet skinned. They could have been brothers; I could barely pick Embry out of the group.

The resemblance was only intensified by the strikingly similar hostility in every pair of eyes. Every pair but one. The oldest by several years, Sam stood in the very back, his face serene and sure. I had to swallow back the bile that rose in my throat. I wanted to take a swing at him.

"Go ahead," he hissed through his teeth. His glare was vicious. I'd never seen him look at anyone like that, least of all me. It hurt with a surprising intensity, a physical pain, a stabbing in my head.

"Alone!" I hissed, and my voice was stronger.

He looked behind him, and I knew where his eyes would go. Every one of them was turned for Sam's reaction.

Sam nodded once, his eyes staring sadly at Lee. He made a brief comment in an unfamiliar, liquid language I could only be positive that it wasn't French or Spanish, my guess that it was Quillayute was only confirmed by Lee’s sneer. He turned and walked into Jacob's house. The others, Paul, Jared, and Embry, I assumed, followed him in.

"Okay." Jacob seemed a bit less furious when the others were gone. His face was a little calmer, but also more hopeless. His mouth seemed permanently pulled down at the corners.

I took a deep breath. "You know what we want to know."

He didn't answer. He just stared at me bitterly.

I stared back and the silence stretched on. The pain in his face unnerved me. I felt a lump beginning to build in my throat.

"Can we walk?" I asked while I could still speak.

He didn't respond in any way; his face didn't change.

I got out of the car, feeling unseen eyes behind the windows on me, and started walking toward the trees to the north. Lee came up next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders to steady me as we went.

Our feet squished in the damp grass and mud beside the road, and, as that was the only sound, I thought he wasn't following us. But when I glanced around, he was right beside me, his feet having somehow found a less noisy path than mine.

I felt better in the fringe of trees, where Sam couldn't possibly be watching. As we walked, I struggled for the right thing to say, but nothing came. I just got more and more angry that Jacob had gotten sucked in… that Billy had allowed this… that Sam was able to stand there so assured and calm…

Jacob suddenly picked up the pace, striding ahead of us easily with his long legs, and then swinging around to face me, planting himself in my path so I would have to stop too.

I was distracted by the overt grace of his movement. Jacob had been nearly as klutzy as me with his never-ending growth spurt. When did that changed?

But Jacob didn't give me time to think about it.

"Let's get this over with," he said in a hard, husky voice.

“What the fuck, Black?!” Lee yelled from beside me.

"It's not what you think." His voice was abruptly weary. "It's not what I thought, I was way off."

"So what is it, then?" I asked.

He studied my face for a long moment, speculating. The anger never completely left his eyes. "I can't tell _you_ ," he finally said.

My jaw tightened, and I spoke through my teeth. "I thought we were friends."

"We were." There was a slight emphasis on the past tense.

"But you don't need friends anymore," I said sourly. "You have Sam. Isn't that nice, you've always looked up to him so much."

"I didn't understand him before."

"And now you've seen the light. Hallelujah."

"It wasn't like I thought it was. This isn't Sam's fault. He's helping me as much as he can." His voice turned brittle and he looked over my head, past me, rage burning out from his eyes.

"He's helping you," I repeated dubiously. "Naturally."

But Jacob didn't seem to be listening. He was taking deep, deliberate breaths, trying to calm himself. He was so mad that his hands were shaking.

“How could you just up and abandon us for Sam’s stupid gang?! You were terrified, and after everything-” Lee cut himself off, he was feeling the betrayal just as deep, if not deeper than I was.

Jacob just abandoned me, but he abandoned Lee for his shitty ex-boyfriend.

"Jacob, please," I whispered, "Tell us what happened! Maybe we can help."

"No one can help me now." The words were a low moan, his voice broke.

"What did he do to you?" I demanded, tears collecting in my eyes. I reached my hand out for him, taking half a step forward, but Lee kept his grip on me.

He cringed away anyways, holding his hands up defensively. "Don't touch me," he whispered.

"Is Sam catching?" I mumbled. The stupid tears had escaped the corners of my eyes. I wiped them away with the back of my hand.

"Stop blaming Sam." The words came out fast, like a reflex. He reached up, twisting his hands into his hair.

“Stop blaming Sam?” Lee’s voice sounded rough. I took the arm that had been pressed between us and wrapped it around his waist. “Who should we blame then, Jacob?”

He halfway smiled; it was a bleak, twisted thing.

“Beau doesn’t want to hear it.”

"The hell I don't!" I snapped. "I want to know, and I want to know now."

"You're wrong," he snapped back.

"Don't you dare tell me I'm wrong, I'm not the one who got brainwashed! Tell me now whose fault this all is if it's not your precious Sam!"

He looked to Lee for a second before settling his gaze back on me.

"You asked for it," he growled at me, eyes glinting hard. "If you want to blame someone, why don't you point your finger at those filthy, _reeking_ bloodsuckers that you love so much?"

My mouth fell open and my breath came out with a whooshing sound. I was frozen in place, stabbed through with his double-edged words. I couldn't believe that I'd heard him correctly. There was no trace of indecision in his face. Only fury.

“What the hell does that _mean_?” Lee growled.

My mouth still hung wide.

"I told you that you didn't want to hear it," he said.

"I don't understand what you’re talking about," I whispered.

He raised one eyebrow in disbelief. "I think you understand exactly who I mean. The Cullens," he said slowly, drawing out the word, scrutinizing my face as he spoke it. "I saw that, I can see in your eyes what it does to you when I say their name."

I didn’t feel quite as punched through at the sound of their name as I would have. I hadn’t let myself think about them long enough to let myself break apart again.

“Why the fuck would you say that, Black?!” Lee’s outrage was palpable, but I was miles away for a moment.

Jacob just sneered and kept staring at me.

I shook my head back and forth in denial, trying to clear it at the same time. How did he know this? And how did it have anything to do with Sam's cult? Was it a gang of vampire-haters? What was the point of forming such a society when no vampires lived in Forks anymore? Why would Jacob start believing the stories about the Cullens now, when the evidence of them was long gone, never to return?

It took me too long to come up with the correct response. "Don't tell me you're listening to Billy's superstitious nonsense now," I said with a feeble attempt at mockery.

"He knows more than I gave him credit for."

"Be serious, Jacob."

He glared at me; his eyes critical.

"Superstitions aside," I said quickly. "I still don't see what you're accusing the... Cullens-" I winced, "of. They left more than half a year ago. How can you blame them for what Sam is doing now?"

"Sam isn't doing anything, Beau. And I know they're gone. But sometimes… things are set in motion, and then it's too late."

"What's set in motion? What's too late? What are you blaming them for?"

Jacob was suddenly in my face, his eyes glowering, “For existing.”

Lee’s arm around me was gone in a flash, and Jacob went stumbling back, caught off guard by him.

“Get the hell out of his face!”

Lee looked like he was ready to swing on him, but Jacob was vibrating, his whole body nearly convulsing.

I grabbed the back of Lee’s shirt and _pulled_ , I knew I only got him to move back because he let me, but I didn’t know this Jacob. I didn’t know if he’d be angry enough to try to fight him.

Jacob spent a few moments just breathing, and eventually the shaking calmed.

"Fine, I won't argue it with you. It doesn't matter anyway; the damage is done."

"What damage?!" I let go of Lee’s shirt and stepped around him.

"Let's head back. There's nothing more to say."

I gaped.

“The hell there isn’t-!”

“-You haven't said anything yet!"

Lee and I yelled at the same time.

He walked past us, striding back toward the house.

"I ran into Quil today," I yelled after him.

He paused mid-step but didn't turn.

"You remember your friend, Quil? Yeah, he's terrified."

Jacob whirled to face us. His expression was pained. "Quil." was all he said.

"He's worried about you, too. He's freaked out."

Jacob stared past me with desperate eyes.

I goaded him further. "He's frightened that he's next."

Jacob clutched at a tree for support, his face turning a strange shade of green under the red-brown surface. "He won't be next," Jacob muttered to himself. "He can't be. It's over now. This shouldn't still be happening. Why? Why?!" His fist slammed against the tree. It wasn't a big tree, slender and only a few feet taller than Jacob. But it still surprised me when the trunk gave way and snapped off loudly under his blows.

Lee lifted me and pulled me back, “What the hell!”

Jacob stared at the sharp, broken point with shock that quickly turned to horror.

"I have to get back." He whirled and stalked away.

"Back to Sam!"

"That's one way of looking at it," it sounded like he said. He was mumbling and facing away.

Lee held me just long enough to keep me a decent distance from him and then helped me out of the forest again.

“Wait!” I called out.

He spun around to face me, and I saw that his hands were shaking again.

“Go home, guys. I can’t hang out with you anymore.”

The silly, inconsequential hurt was incredibly potent. The tears welled up again. "Jacob… why? Sam won't let you have other friends?” Lee was stiff next to me, and I could feel his own anger and pain rolling off.

"I'm sorry," Jacob said each word distinctly in a cold voice that didn't seem to belong to him.

I didn't believe that this was really what Jacob wanted to say. It seemed like there was something else trying to be said through his angry eyes, but I couldn't understand the message.

“Please, Jake…”

He was backing away from me.

"I'm sorry," he said again; this time it was a broken mumble. He turned and almost ran into the house.

I was unable to move from where I stood. I stared at the little house; it looked too small to hold four large boys and two larger men. There was no reaction inside. No flutter at the edge of the curtain, no sound of voices or movement.

It faced me vacantly.

The rain started to drizzle, stinging here and there against my skin. I couldn't take my eyes off the house.

Jacob would come back. He had to.

After a few minutes, the rain and wind started picking up, and Lee guided us back to my truck. He slid me into the passenger seat and started it up.

My dad was on the porch when we got back.

"Billy called. He said you guys got in fight with Jake; said you were pretty upset," he explained as we approached.

Lee dropped his bag next to the door, his arm still around me.

Then he looked at my face. A kind of horrified recognition registered in his expression. I tried to feel my face from the inside out, to know what he was seeing. My face felt empty and cold, and I realized what it would remind him of.

"That's not exactly how it happened," I muttered.

“Then what happened?” He asked us, Lee led us to the couch, Charlie hovering behind and throwing the afghan over the two of us.

I realised I was shivering even next to Lee’s heat.

My voice was lifeless. "Sam Uley says Jacob can't be our friend anymore."

Charlie shot me a strange look. "Who told you that?"

"Jacob," I stated, though that wasn't exactly what he'd said. It was still true.

“They were all over at Billy’s, Charlie. It was like Jake had to ask permission to even speak to us. It was bullshit.”

Charlie gave him a sad look.

He had known Lee since he was a baby, the whole mess with Sam was fairly public, so I could imagine the sympathy he felt in this situation.

Charlie's eyebrows pulled together. "You really think there's something wrong with the Uley kid?”

“Besides the fact that he’s a total rat bastard? I don’t know.”

I stood up from the couch after a moment of silence.

“I’m going to go change, Lee do you wanna take a shower first?”

He shook his head, his face still tense.

“I’m not that cold, go warm up and I’ll take one after you. You’re still shivering.”

I nodded once and walked upstairs.

The hot water didn't seem to affect the temperature of my skin. I was still freezing when I gave up and shut the water off. In the sudden quiet, I could hear Charlie and Lee talking.

“It just doesn’t make any sense.” His voice sounded angry.

“You’re right, it doesn’t. I remember when Sam first started acting this way, back when we were still together. At least Jacob didn’t go missing for two weeks.”

I could hear the bitterness in his voice, and I didn’t think I could blame him.

“Billy and Harry always talk about Sam and those boys like they’re something special. I never understood how Harry could do that after what he pulled with you. If someone had done that with Beau, I probably would’ve tried to shoot him.”

“You didn’t try that on the Cullen kid?” My chest twisted, not as violently as I thought it would though.

Charlie scoffed, “Beau hung off of him at every moment, I didn’t think I’d get the chance to unless I wanted to risk putting a buckshot in him.” He paused for a moment, “Besides, Beau cared about him. A little too much if you ask me, but I wasn’t gunna make him break up with the boy if it kept him happy here. After he ran off… I would’ve done anything to keep him happy. I even tried sending him to Renée at one point, but he just wouldn’t go.”

I would’ve felt annoyed at them talking about me behind my back, but I could feel Charlie’s sadness in every word.

I had hurt Charlie so much trying to keep their secret and keep him safe. I had convinced myself it was better because he was alive, but like this it was easier to see what he saw.

His only kid so miserable that the only thing keeping him here was a boy.

I stopped listening and tiptoed quickly across the hall into my bedroom. I changed into my pyjamas of sweatpants, an old t-shirt, and my soft green sweater before heading downstairs.

“Bathroom’s open.”

Lee brushed by my shoulder on his way up.

Charlie sat at the kitchen table now, and I walked in, “Have you eaten anything yet, dad?”

He shook his head, “Not yet, I was starting to think about it when Billy called and said you were on your way.”

“Alright.” I didn’t much feel like cooking, but there wasn’t much left in the fridge in the way of leftovers.

I scowled into the cabinets.

Charlie must’ve sensed my discontent, “Why don’t I run to town and pick us up something?”

I sighed in relief, “Yeah, dad. That would be great.”

“Alright. Pizza, North Gardens, or D&K?”

I thought for a second. “Let’s wait for Lee to get his weigh in.”

Lee came back down after a few minutes, in his pyjamas and towel dried hair left hanging loose around him, and Charlie relayed the plans.

Lee shrugged, “I don’t care either way, but dad says the D&K has pretty god stuff.”

Charlie nodded, “Alright, D&K it is.”

He wrote down both of our orders and head out.

After he left, Lee and I curled up on the couch.

His warm skin helped to balance out the chill in mine, and I could tell we both needed the comfort.

After a while his hand started making its way through my hair, gently untangling the still damp knots.

Charlie got back and we ate in silence, Charlie not knowing how to respond to the situation and the two of us both too emotionally exhausted to contribute.

Not long after that Charlie decided to go to bed, and Lee and I set up the pallet in the living room.

Neither one of us were up for the vampire movie after the afternoon we’d had.

“Hey, Beau?” Lee and I had already turned out the lights when I heard his whisper.

“Yeah?”

He was quiet for a second, “Why do you think Jacob believes all the old stories suddenly? A lot of us believe in the legends, sure, but the whole Cold One’s thing is just an old wife’s tale. A stupid thing to get kids to behave or whatever…”

I thought about my answer carefully. I couldn’t reveal what I knew about vampires, that was a secret I carefully guarded, but I knew Lee would see through any direct lies I told.

“I don’t know why he believes in them suddenly,” I answered honestly, “I didn’t know if it was a Quileute thing, or a Sam’s gang thing.”

He fell quiet, and eventually I slipped into sleep.

I wasn't sure, when I woke up, but it was dark. I stared at my dark ceiling. I could feel that it was the middle of the night, I was still half-asleep, maybe more than half. I closed my eyes again.

That's when I heard the noise that must have wakened me in the first place.

There was an insistent tapping on the back door, low enough where Charlie wouldn’t be able to hear it. I thought about screaming, but I didn’t know how much help that would do.

I gently shook Lee’s arm, which had been thrown over me in his sleep.

“Lee!” I whispered, “Lee wake up!”

He blinked his eyes open sleepily, “Hm? Beau, what-?”

It was then that his eyes widened, and he flew into a sitting position, wrapping his arms around me.

“What the hell is that?” He whispered back.

I pointed a shaking hand at the back of the door at the same time it slowly started creaking open.

I began hyperventilating, my brain immediately scrambling for answers.

The only conclusion my mind could come to was that a vampire was here.

A vampire was here and not only was I going to die, but Lee Clearwater was going to go down with me.

I just hoped whoever it was left Charlie alone.

A large dark figure was silhouetted in the doorway. I squeezed my eyes shut.

And then a familiar, husky voice whispered out.

“Beau? Lee?”

“Jake?!” Lee and I both hissed out.

We had spent the night mourning our friendship with this boy, and he thought he could just come back here?

“Get out!” I hissed, putting as much venom into the whisper as I could.

He blinked, his face going blank with surprise.

"No," he protested. "I came to apologize."

"We don't accept!" Lee’s hold on me tightened. “Fuck off!”

He wasn’t wearing a shirt, but the wind coming in through the door was cold enough to make me shiver.

He closed it behind him and wearily made his way over, sitting on the couch by our heads.

He looked _huge_. So big that this close he was practically all I could see. His leg brushed up against me from my spot on the floor. His skin was burning hot, like his head had been the last time I'd touched him. Like he was still sick with the fever.

He didn’t seem sick though.

Just as quickly as it came, my anger seeped out of me, and I was just tired. I curled into Lee’s side, comfortable there even though I could feel his frustration.

"Why did you come here?”

“We don't want apologies from you, Black." Lee sneered.

"I know," he whispered. "But I couldn't leave things the way I did this afternoon. Thar was horrible. I'm sorry."

I shook my head wearily. "I don't understand anything."

"I know. I want to explain-" He broke off suddenly, his mouth open, almost like something had cut off his air. Then he sucked in a deep breath. "But I can't explain," he said, still angry. "I wish I could."

“Why?”

He was quiet for a moment.

His eyes were squinted, his teeth clenched, his forehead wrinkled in effort.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He exhaled heavily, and I realized he'd been holding his breath, too. "I can't do it," he muttered, frustrated.

"Do what?" Lee’s frustration was only increasing.

He stared at him for a second before his eyes lit up, similar to the way they did when he fixed up a difficult part.

“Lee, you can tell him!”

I turned my gaze to him, confused.

“Tell him, _what_? I don’t know anything about your little cult!”

“But you do! It’s-!” His voice choked off again, snatched away.

He growled.

Jake shook his head.

“Okay.” He took my face in his enormous, too-warm hands and held it just a few inches from his. Lee’s grip tightened again.

He stared into my eyes while he whispered, as if to communicate something besides the words he spoke.

"Remember the first day we met, on the beach in La Push?"

"Of course I do."

"Tell me about it."

I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate. "You asked about my truck…"

He nodded, urging me on.

"We talked about the Rabbit…"

"Keep going."

"We went for a walk down the beach…"

He was nodding, anxious for more.

My voice was nearly soundless. "You told me scary stories… Quileute legends."

"Yes!" Jacob dropped his hands and looked at Lee excitedly.

His mouth opened and closed a few times, shock having mixed in with the anger, “Bullshit!”

“No, not bullshit! I thought so too!” He was practically giddy.

“Lee, what-”

“You are _not_ trying to tell me you can- that you’re- that doesn’t make sense!”

“Oh yes I can! I can prove it too!” Jake stood up abruptly. “Come on!”

“We’re not going anywhere with you, Black. You’ve clearly gone insane.”

“I’m not crazy, we all thought we were at first, but it’s true!”

“Guys?”

“It can’t be!”

“If you follow me outside, I can show-”

“No! What if this is some part of your weird cult? I won’t-”

“Guys?!”

“But you _have_ to _see-_ ”

“GUYS!”

We all paused to look at the stairs automatically, holding our breath, waiting to see if the noise had woken Charlie. A short moment of silence passed, and then we heard the muffled sound of Charlie's snore.

“Yeah, Beau?” Jake was practically vibrating, but the grin on his face was bright and familiar.

“Is anyone going to fill me in on what exactly it is that I know, that apparently isn’t true?” My head was starting to hurt from their arguing.

Lee turned to me, “The Quileute legends include men that can leave their bodies and enter wolves. Later on, they actually can _turn into_ wolves.” He shook his head. “So Jacob here is trying to tell us Sam’s gang can turn fuzzy.”

I just blinked at her, then looked at Jacob, then back to her, then finally settled on Jacob.

“You’re kidding me, right?”

Jacob rolled his eyes.

“Considering the company you used to keep, is it really that shocking?”

I shot a panicked look at Lee, but his face betrayed nothing.

I thought about it for a moment.

What kind of a place was this? Could a world really exist where ancient legends went wandering around the borders of tiny, insignificant towns, facing down mythical monsters? Did this mean every impossible fairy tale was grounded somewhere in absolute truth? Was there anything sane or normal at all, or was everything just magic and ghost stories?

I clutched my head in my hands, trying to keep it from exploding.

A small, dry voice in the back of my mind asked me what the big deal was. Hadn't I already accepted the existence of vampires long ago, and without all the hysterics that time?

Exactly, I wanted to scream back at the voice. Wasn't one myth enough for anyone, enough for a lifetime?

Besides, there'd never been one moment that I wasn't completely aware that Edward Cullen was above and beyond the ordinary. It wasn't such a surprise to find out what he was, because he so obviously was something.

But Jacob? Jacob, who was just Jacob, and nothing more than that? Jacob, my friend? Jacob, the one of two humans I had every really felt like I related to…

And he wasn’t even human.

In my head, everything spun and shifted, rearranging so that things that had meant one thing before, now meant something else.

There was no cult. There had never been a cult, never been a gang. It was _a pack_.

“Okay.”

“Okay?!” Lee looked at me like I too had lost my mind, but I stood up, determined.

“Show us.”

Jacob began for the back door, and I followed him, knowing that Lee would be behind me.

Even if he thought I was crazy, I didn’t think he’d leave me alone with another crazy person who thought they could turn into a wolf.

“This is fucking insane, you know that right?”

I just nodded my head.

Jacob walked a few feet into the woods, and I hesitated slightly.

I hadn’t been in the woods behind Charlie’s place since Sam Uley had found me.

Thinking about him hardened my resolve, and I stepped through.

When we all got to a little break in the thick trees he turned around. The branches were just thin enough, so the bright moon lit up the path, but it was hard for me to see anything.

“Jake?”

He sounded sheepish when he responded, “Okay, I’m sorry for this first part.”

“What do you-?” Lee was cut off my Jacob kicking off his shoes and unbuttoning his pants, pushing them down.

“WHAT THE HELL?” Lee and I both moved to cover our eyes, but before we managed that Jacob was changing.

I watched in horror as he practically vibrated out of his skin.

In his place, a giant dark furred wolf stood.

I stumbled back, and Lee lost his grip on me, his own hands shaking.

“I think I’m gunna be sick.”

I couldn’t speak, I could only manage to stare at the wolf.

Slowly the wolf whined, laying its large body on the forest floor, the large head resting on top of huge paws.

The wolf whined a little in the back of its throat, big eyes staring up at me, and it all clicked.

It _was_ him.

“Oh, Jacob.” I scrambled forward, wrapping my arms around the wolf’s thick neck.

“Beau!” Lee called from behind me, but I just buried my face in his fur.

“Lee, it’s _Jacob_.”

There weren’t any other noises for a minute. Just the sound of the wolf- Jake’s heavy breathing.

I suddenly felt a hand on my back and turned my face towards him.

He looked terrified, but resolute. Standing just behind me.

“Jacob Black, this is some freaky shit.”

Jacob made a wheezing huff sound that took me too long to realise was his laughter.

He padded a few feet away, disappearing behind a few trees before walking back to us, this time with his shorts back on.

He stared at us carefully.

I smiled brightly at him and he rushed forward, picking me up into a hug.

He set me down and pulled Lee into one too, and though he grumbled, and his eyes were still filled with shock he accepted it.

Jacob stepped back again.

“You are taking this surprisingly well.” He started walking back towards Charlie’s house, and we all settle on the back porch, Lee and Jacob pressed close on each side.

I shrugged. “Like you said, this isn’t my first dip into weird.” I turned my head to Lee, resting my head on his shoulder and looking up.

He wrapped his arm around me but didn’t look down.

“Lee?” I asked quietly. “Are you okay?”

He was quiet for so long I thought he wasn’t going to answer.

“You’re… all of you?” From this close I could see his jaw trembling, and his eyes shining.

I realised suddenly where his brain must’ve been going.

“Yeah,” Jacob’s voice was heavy with understanding.

Lee didn’t ask Jacob anymore pack questions, I figured he needed time to piece together this and Sam leaving him.

I turned my head back to Jacob.

“Why weren’t you allowed to hang out with us? Is it just because we didn’t know about the wolf thing?” It seemed like a dumb reason until I thought back to the Cullen’s, they specifically didn’t make friends because their secret was too easy to reveal.

“Sort of…” Jacob looked guilty, “It’s actually… kind of dangerous for _you guys_ to be around me.”

"What do you mean?"

He looked down. "There's more than one reason I'm not supposed to be around you two. I wasn't supposed to tell you our secret, for one thing, but the other part is that it's not safe for you. If I get too mad… too upset… you might get hurt."

I thought about that carefully. "When you were mad earlier… when we were yelling at you… and you were shaking…?"

"Yeah." His face dropped even lower. "That was pretty stupid of me. I have to keep a better hold on myself. I swore I wasn't going to get mad, no matter what you said to me. But… I just got so upset. You guys were both angry, and then you mentioned Quil…”

"What would happen… if you got too mad?" I whispered.

"I'd turn into a wolf," he whispered back.

Lee turned his head finally. “The council knows, don’t they?”

Jacob nodded.

He looked angry again, “So the whole time… my dad knew what was going on with Sam, and no one thought to tell me anything?”

Jacob leaned away, and I began to rub his back, gently trying to keep his calm for now.

“He wasn’t allowed, from what I’ve gathered Sam and Harry were specifically banned from telling you.”

His shoulder’s slumped, and he looked just as exhausted as I felt.

“Why?”

“It was safer that way, for you and him. He thought about telling you every minute, orders be damned, and then-” Jacob cut himself off, not in the same way as before, just in embarrassment. “I shouldn’t be telling you this. I’m not even really supposed to know. Now that you guys are in on it, maybe you could talk to Sam.”

Lee only nodded.

“I guess I should get going,” He frowned. "I had to sneak out, I'm not supposed to see you. They've got to be wondering where I am." His mouth twisted. "I suppose I should go let them know."

“Alright, I’ll see you in the morning, Jake.”

Jacob grimace, “If Sam doesn’t chew out my ass first.”

My eyes widened in fear, and Jacob held up his hands.

“Joke, Beau. Mostly.” He half-smiled.

We both hugged him goodbye and went back into the living room, curling around each other.

We were silent until we fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

We woke up the next morning to the sounds of Charlie getting ready.

It was still early, if the bare hint of light outside was anything to go by.

I was curled up into Lee’s chest, my head tucked into his neck and resting on his arm. My arm was wrapped around him, and his was loose around me. Our legs were tangled together.

I started to scramble away from Lee when I heard my dad come down the stairs, but by the time I was able to carefully extract myself and sit up, he was already standing there.

Charlie gave me a half-smile and nodded to Lee, “He still asleep?” He whispered.

Lee grumbled, reaching back out for me in his half-asleep state.

“Yeah I think so.” I felt my face heat up as he settled his arm around my waist.

“’M up, just give me a minute.” Lee mumbled.

He just quietly chuckled.

“You two got any plans today?”

I hesitated for a moment, when Charlie had gone to bed we were still mad at Jacob, so I wasn’t sure exactly if I should be telling him.

“We’re gunna head down to the rez, maybe hang out at his place or go down to the beach.”

Charlie frowned. "Straight to Lee's house, right? No stops on the way?"

"Of course not, where would we stop?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "It's just… well, there's been another attack. It was real close to the resort by the hot springs, there's a witness this time. The victim was only a dozen yards from the road when he disappeared. His wife said he saw a huge grey wolf just a few minutes later, while he was searching for him and ran for help." He shook his head, “We were thinking it was bears this whole time; we thought the tracks were wrong for a bear before, but wolves just don't get that big…”

My stomach dropped like I'd hit a corkscrew on a roller coaster. "A wolf attacked him?"

"There's no sign of him, just a little blood again." Charlie's face was pained. "We’re going out armed, taking armed volunteers. There're a lot of hunters who are eager to be involved, there's a reward being offered for wolf carcasses now that they think they’ve figured it out.” He shook his head. "You're going to shoot the wolves?" My voice shot through three octaves.

"What else can we do? What's wrong?" he asked, his tense eyes studying my face. I felt faint; I must be whiter than usual.

I shook my head and nudged Lee, who had woken up more while Charlie was talking. We looked at each other for a second.

"Honey, don't let this scare you. Just stay in town or on the highway, no stops you two, okay?"

"Okay," I repeated in a weak voice.

"I've got to go."

I looked at him closely for the first time and saw that he had his gun strapped to his waist and hiking boots on.

"You aren't going out there after the wolves, are you, Dad?"

"I've got to help, Beau. People are disappearing."

My voice shot up again, almost hysterical now. "No! No, don't go. It's too dangerous!"

“I’ve got to do my job, kid. Don’t worry too much, okay?” Charlie turned to leave, “I’ll see you tonight.”

He was out the door before either of us could say anything.

I turned to Lee with horror across my face.

“You don’t… you don’t think it’s actually them, right?”

Lee rubbed the sleep from his eyes, but shook his head, “I don’t think so. They’re Protectors remember, and I don’t think the council would be praising a bunch of murderers, do you?”

I took a deep breath, “No, I don’t.”

I felt my nerves spike, “But that just means we have to go and warn them, Lee. They’re going to go hunt down a bunch of teenagers, and I need to know exactly what is happening.”

“They probably already know, Harry has been a part of these groups, remember? He’d have told them.”

I wrung my hands nervously, and he reached out, pulling my hands apart before wrapping his arms around me.

I buried my face in his shoulder, “Lee, if they’re not the one’s killing people… then who is?”

He took a breath. “I don’t know.”

Lee talked me out of driving over there that very minute, but I desperately wanted to.

He made me stay on our “bed” for at least ten more minutes before he let me get up.

I went upstairs to brush my teeth and then get started on breakfast.

Lee did the same and then sat at the table while I made us some bacon and eggs. I cut up some fruit while the bacon was sizzling and set it on the table.

I was too nervous to manage any conversation, and Lee quickly gathered that I wouldn’t be fine until I got my answers.

When the sun was little higher in the sky, Lee finally let me get ready. We pulled up to Billy’s house and walked up to the door.

I knocked loudly on the door.

"Come in," I heard Billy call after a minute, and a light flicked on.

I twisted the knob; it was unlocked. Billy was leaning around an open doorway just off the little kitchen, a bathrobe around his shoulders, not in his chair yet. When he saw who it was, his eyes widened briefly, and then his face turned stoic.

“Well good morning Beau, Lee. What are you two doing here so early?”

"Hey, Billy. We need to talk to Jake- where is he?"

"Um… I don't really know," he lied, straight-faced.

"Do you know what Charlie is doing this morning?" I demanded, sick of the stalling.

"Should I?"

"He and half the other men in town are all out in the woods with guns, hunting giant wolves." Lee dead panned. He was as fed up with this as I was.

Billy's expression flickered, and then went blank.

"So, we'd like to talk to Jake about that, if you don't mind," I said.

Billy pursed his thick lips for a long moment. "I'd bet he's still asleep," he finally said, nodding toward the tiny hallway off the front room. "He's out late a lot these days. Kid needs his rest, probably you shouldn't wake him."

I frowned, but Lee just stalked right int his bedroom. The door banged loudly against the frame, and I heard a loud yelp, a curse, and then Lee appeared with a tired looking Jacob right behind him.

Billy just sighed.

“Hey, Beau.” Jacob yawned.

“Hey, Jake.” I turned around and walked back out to the front yard. I was still mad at Billy.

We all walked into the garage together, and after Lee closed the door behind us, I began talking.

"Jacob, I have to warn you-"

"About the rangers and the hunters? Don't worry about it. We already know."

"Don't worry about it?" I demanded in disbelief. "Jake, they've got guns! They're setting traps and offering rewards and-"

"We can take care of ourselves," he reassured. Jacob stepped forward and hugged me.

I only felt marginally better.

“Fine, let’s say you can make sure to not get shot, then…” I pulled away and glanced back to Lee.

“What's happening in the woods, Jacob? The missing hikers, the blood? We don’t _think_ it’s you guys, but we need to know.”

His face was serious, worried at once, and he pulled away. "We're trying to do our job. We're trying to protect them, but we're always just a little too late."

"Protect them from what? Is there really a bear out there, too?"

"Beau, honey, we protect people from one thing, our one enemy. It's the reason we exist. Because they do."

I stared at him blankly for one second before I understood. Then the blood drained from my face and a thin, wordless cry of horror broke through my lips.

He nodded. "I thought you, of all people, would realise what was really going on."

Lee came and wrapped an arm around me.

“Who…?”

Jacob shrugged, “We don’t know, they have red eyes and that’s the only thing that matters.”

“So it’s true then, the Cullens really were vampires.” I couldn’t decipher the tone in his voice.

Jacob nodded; his teeth clenched together, and he spoke through them. "There’s a red head, that keeps popping up. If we could figure out what she was after, it would be easier to take her down. But she makes no sense. She keeps dancing around the edges, like she's testing our defences, looking for a way in, but in where? Where does she want to go? Sam thinks she's trying to separate us, so she'll have a better chance…"

His voice faded until it sounded like it was coming through a long tunnel; I couldn't make out the individual words anymore. My forehead dewed with sweat and my stomach rolled like I had the stomach flu again. Exactly like I had the flu.

I ran outside quickly. I threw up behind a tree.

Victoria was here. Looking for me. Killing strangers in the woods. The woods where Charlie was searching…

My head spun sickeningly.

I felt familiar warm hands catch me as I threatened to tip over.

“Beau!?” Lee’s hands held me against his and he sat down slowly, away from my sick, cradling me in his lap.

Jacob was running his hands through my hair, “Beau? Beau, honey, what’s wrong?”

"Victoria," I gasped as soon as I could catch my breath around the nauseous spasms.

“Who?” Lee sounded just as confused as he did panicked.

"Do you need some water? A doctor? Tell me what to do," he demanded, frantic.

"I'm not sick; I'm scared," I explained in a whisper. The word scared didn't really seem to cover it.

Jacob continued to pet my hair. "Scared of this Victoria?" I nodded, shuddering. "Victoria is the red-haired woman?"

I trembled again, and whimpered, "Yes."

He pulled my face away from Lee’s shoulder, holding it steady in his big hand. He stared intently into my eyes. "This is important. Do you know what she wants?"

"Of course," I whispered. "She wants me."

Lee tensed underneath me, “What?!”

His eyes flipped wide, then narrowed into slits. "Why?" he demanded.

"Edward killed James, her mate." I whispered. Lee held me tighter. "She did get… pissed off. They thought she’d gone though, ran away after he died.”

"This is important," he said again, his face all business now. "This is exactly what we needed to know. We've got to tell the others right away."

He motioned to Lee, and they both helped me up. Lee held me steady, and Jacob slowly pulled his own hands away once he was sure he had me.

“I’m okay.” I lied.

“Let’s go.” He began walking towards my truck, Lee and I following close behind.

“Where are we going?” Lee demanded.

"I'm not sure yet," he admitted. "I'll call a meeting. Hey, wait here for just a minute, okay?"

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back," he promised. Jacob took off into the trees.

"Jacob!" I yelled after him hoarsely, but he was already gone.

Seconds after Jacob was out of sight, I was hyperventilating. Lee pulled us into the cab of the truck, rocking me slightly.

“Beau? Sweetheart, we’re fine. We’re okay. They won’t let you get hurt. You heard what he said. This is their job.”

It didn't make me feel any better.

Victoria was already hunting me. It was just luck that she hadn't found me yet, just luck and five teenage werewolves. I exhaled sharply. No matter what Jacob said, the thought of him coming anywhere close to Victoria was horrifying. I didn't care what he could turn into. I could see her in my head, her face wild, her hair like flames, deadly, indestructible…

He said they were keeping a special eye on Charlie, that I should trust the werewolves to keep my dad safe. How could I trust that? None of us were safe! Jacob the very least of all, if he was trying to put himself between Victoria and Charlie… between Victoria and me.

Lee would be caught right in the crosshairs. We were with each other every moment possible, even the night before when Jacob had creeped into the house, hadn’t I been terrified of Lee dying next to me?

And that was before I knew there was a murderous vampire actually set out to kill me. For the secondish time.

I felt like I might be about to throw up again.

Jacob was back quickly, and he hopped into the driver’s side. Letting Lee keep his hold on me.

"You're really scared, aren't you?" he asked as he climbed in.

I nodded.

"Don't be. We'll take care of you both, and Charlie, too. I promise."

"The idea of you finding Victoria is just as scary as the idea of her finding me," I whispered, looking up at Lee.

He laughed. "You've got to have a little more confidence in us than that. It's insulting."

I just shook my head. I'd seen too many vampires in action.

"Where did you go just now?" I asked, trying to distract myself.

He pursed his lips, and said nothing.

"What? Is it a secret?" Lee asked sarcastically.

He frowned. "Not really. It's kind of weird, though. I don't want to freak you guys out."

"I'm sort of used to weird, you know." I tried to smile.

“My threshold for weird is rapidly shifting at this point.” Lee grimaced.

Jacob grinned back easily. "Guess you'd have to be.” He looked at Lee and shrugged, “Okay. See, when we're wolves, we can… hear each other."

My eyebrows pulled down in confusion.

"Not hear sounds," he went on, "but we can hear… thoughts, each other's anyway, no matter how far away from each other we are. It really helps when we hunt, but it's a big pain otherwise. It's embarrassing, having no secrets like that. Freaky, eh?”

“Is that what you meant last night?” Lee asked, “When you said you weren’t even supposed to know about…”

Jacob nodded, a little uncomfortable, “Yeah.”

I just shrugged.

"You're very good with weird, Beau. I thought that would bother you."

"It's not… well, you're not the first person I've known who could do that. So, it doesn't seem so weird to me."

"Really?… Wait! Are you talking about your bloodsuckers?"

"I wish you wouldn't call them that."

He laughed. "Whatever. The Cullens, then?"

"Just Edward." I shrugged one shoulder. It didn’t hurt to mention them anymore, at least not as bad as it had been.

Jacob looked surprised, unpleasantly so. "I thought those were just stories. I've heard rumours about vampires who could do… extra stuff, but I thought that was just made up, mythical."

"Is anything just a myth anymore?" I asked him wryly.

Lee recoiled, “He could read your mind? Like, when you were together? That is so messed up.”

I shook my head. “Not me. I was… well I was the only one he couldn’t hear.”

Lee calmed down slightly after that.

I could tell the whole situation itself was getting to him, but for someone who lived in a fully human world the day before, he was taking this all pretty well.

“Okay, we're going to meet Sam and the others at the place we go to ride our bikes."

"So, did you just turn into a wolf now, to talk to Sam?" I asked, curious.

Jacob nodded, seeming embarrassed. "I kept it real short, I tried not to think about either of you so they wouldn't know what was going on. I was afraid Sam would tell me I couldn't bring you."

"That wouldn't have stopped me." I couldn't get rid of my perception of Sam as the bad guy. My teeth clenched together whenever I heard his name.

“I’ll kick Sam’s ass before he tells me what to do, wolf thing be damned.” Lee practically growled out.

"Well, it would have stopped me," Jacob said, morose now. "Remember how I couldn't finish my sentences last night? How I couldn't just tell you the whole story?"

"Yeah. You looked like you were choking on something."

He chuckled darkly. "Close enough. Sam told me I couldn't tell you. He's… the head of the pack, you know. He's the Alpha. When he tells us to do something, or not to do something when he really means it, well, we can't just ignore him."

"Weird," I muttered.

"Very." he agreed.

“So, Sam says jump and you’re forced to say how high?” Lee sneered, “It’s a bunch of bullshit.”

"Yeah, there's a load of stuff like that, wolf things. I'm still learning. I’m really lucky I have the pack, unlike-” Jacob cut himself off and looked nervously at Lee.

“He was alone…?” Lee asked quietly.

"Yeah." Jacob's voice lowered. "When I… changed, it was the most… horrible, the most terrifying thing I've ever been through, worse than anything I could have imagined. But I wasn't alone, there were the voices there, in my head, telling me what had happened and what I had to do. That kept me from losing my mind, I think. But Sam…" He shook his head. "He had no help."

Lee’s jaw clenched, and I felt his hold on me tighten.

I felt a little bad for him in that respect. I couldn’t imagine what he must’ve gone through just changing like that all on his own.

But I don’t think I would ever forgive him for what he did to Lee, even if I hadn’t been there at the time.

"Will they be angry that we’re with you?" I asked, turning my thoughts from the direction they were heading.

He made a face. "Probably."

"Maybe I shouldn't-"

"No, it's okay," he assured me. "You know a ton of things that can help us. It's not like you're just some ignorant humans. Lee’s already in on the tribe legends, but you're like a… I don't know, spy or something. You've been behind enemy lines."

I frowned to myself. I wasn't a spy. I hadn't been collecting that kind of information. His words made me feel like a traitor.

But I wanted him to stop Victoria, didn't I?

No.

I did want Victoria to be stopped, preferably before she tortured me to death or ran into Charlie or killed another stranger. I just didn't want Jacob to be the one to stop her, or rather to try. I didn't want Jacob within a hundred miles of her, or any of the other kids who just so happened to get a little furry sometimes.

"Like the stuff about the mind-reading bloodsucker," he continued, oblivious to my reverie. "That's the kind of thing we need to know about. That really sucks that those stories are true. It makes everything more complicated. Hey, do you think this Victoria can do anything special?"

"I don't think so," I hesitated, and then sighed. "Edward would have mentioned it."

“You can’t just try to pump Beau for information, Black.” Lee practically growled, putting a voice to my own turmoil. “Even if they were… vampires-” I could tell it was going to be hard for him to adjust to his new reality, “They were still his friends. Stop being a dick.”

Jacob looked guilty at least, “Sorry, Beau.”

We were on the little dirt road where Jacob and Lee had first taught me to ride the motorcycle.

Jacob pulled over and cut the engine.

He sucked in a sharp breath. "They're here. Let's go."

I crawled out first, Lee keeping one arm around me. I didn’t know at this point if it was to steady me or for his own comfort.

It was starting to feel like maybe we were the only two humans left around.

“Are you sure?” I asked Jacob, “Maybe we shouldn’t be here.”

"They'll deal with it," he said, and then he grinned. "Who's afraid of the big, bad wolf?"

Lee’s tense posture broke then, and he groaned, “Great, this is what we have to deal with now, Beau.”

I snickered, despite my fear.

Jacob rolled his eyes and bumped his shoulder with mine, “Here we go.”

I cowered into Lee’s side, scanning the treeline for wolves.

When they appeared, striding out from between the trees, they weren't what I was expecting. I'd gotten the image of the wolves stuck in my head. These were just four really big half-naked boys.

Again, they reminded me of brothers. Something about the way they moved almost in synchronization to stand across the road from us, the way they all had the same long, round muscles under the same red-brown skin, and the way their expressions altered at exactly the same moment.

Their expressions had been curious at first, but the second they noticed Lee and I, they had become furious.

Sam was still the biggest, though Jacob was getting close to catching up with him. His face was older, not in the sense of lines or signs of aging, but in the maturity, the patience of his expression.

"What have you done, Jacob?" he demanded, his eyes pained when they flicked to Lee.

One of the others, one I didn't recognize, Jared or Paul, thrust past Sam and spoke before Jacob could defend himself.

"Why can't you just follow the rules, Jacob?" he yelled, throwing his arms in the air. "What the hell are you thinking? Are they more important than everything, than the whole tribe? Than the people getting killed?"

"Beau can help," Jacob said quietly.

"Help!" the angry boy shouted. His arms begin to quiver. "Oh, that's likely! I'm sure the leech-lover is just dying to help us out!"

"Don't talk about him like that!" Lee interjected.

A shudder rippled through the other boy, along his shoulders and down his spine.

"Paul! Relax!" Sam commanded.

Paul shook his head back and forth, not in defiance, but as though he were trying to concentrate.

"Jeez, Paul," one of the other boys, not Embry, so probably Jared, muttered. "Get a grip."

Paul twisted his head toward Jared, his lips curling back in irritation. Then he shifted his glare in my direction. Jacob took a step to put himself in front of us.

That did it.

"Right, protect _them_!" Paul roared in outrage. Another shudder, a convulsion, heaved through his body. He threw his head back, a real growl tearing from between his teeth.

"Paul!" Sam and Jacob shouted together.

Paul seemed to fall forward, vibrating violently. Halfway to the ground, there was a loud ripping noise, and the boy exploded.

Dark silver fur blew out from the boy, coalescing into a shape more than five-times his size, a massive, crouched shape, ready to spring.

The wolf's muzzle wrinkled back over his teeth, and another growl rolled through his colossal chest. His dark, enraged eyes focused on me.

“No!” Lee was shaking next to me, and he quickly moved so I was behind him.

His whole body began convulsing in a familiar way, for a moment I thought he was having a seizure, and then there was a second ripping noise.

Lee was no longer in front of me, in his place was a grey wolf.

The grey wolf charged at the silver one.

“Lee!”

“Stay where you are, Beau!” Sam ordered. His voice was wavering, but I couldn’t spare him a glance.

Lee was a werewolf.

Lee was a part of the pack now.

Lee was going to get torn to shreds by Paul.

In the same second, Jacob was running across the road towards the two, mid-stride, a long tremor shivered down Jacob's spine. He leaped forward, diving headfirst into the empty air.

With another sharp tearing sound, Jacob exploded, too. He burst out of his skin, shreds of black and white cloth blasted up into the air. It happened so quickly that if I'd blinked, I'd have missed the entire transformation. One second it was Jacob diving into the air, and then it was the gigantic, russet brown wolf, knocking the silver wolf away from the smaller grey one.

My eyes couldn’t tear away from the wolf I recognised as Lee’s.

"Take him to Emily's," Sam shouted toward the other boys, who were watching the conflict with gobsmacked expressions. Jacob had successfully shoved Paul off the road, Lee with him, and they were disappearing into the forest, though the sound of their snarls was still loud. Sam ran after them, kicking off his shoes on the way. As he darted into the trees, he was quivering from head to toe.

The growling and snapping were fading into the distance. Suddenly, the sound cut off and it was very quiet on the road.

One of the boys made a noise.

I turned to stare at him, my wide eyes felt frozen, like I couldn't even blink them.

Embry half-chuckled, probably at my expression.

"Well, there's something you don't see every day.”

"I do," the other boy, Jared, grumbled. "Every single day."

"Aw, Paul doesn't lose his temper every day," Embry disagreed, "Maybe two out of three."

“Lee?”

They both turned to stare at me again, their expression reflecting something similar to my own feelings.

“Okay that one is new.”

Jared started collecting various pieces of fabric from the dirt. "Get Sam's shoes, will you? All the rest of this is headed for the trash."

I vaguely recognized pieces of the cut-offs Jacob had been wearing, and the soft t-shirt and jeans Lee had put on that morning.

I didn’t even know which pieces were his shoes though.

Embry grabbed the shoes and then jogged into the trees where Sam had disappeared. He was back in a few seconds with a pair of cut-off jeans draped over his arm. Jared gathered the torn remnants of Jacob's and Paul's clothes and wadded them into a ball. Suddenly, he seemed to remember me.

He looked at me carefully, assessing.

"Hey, you're not going to faint or puke or anything?" he demanded.

"I don't think so," I gasped.

"You don't look so good. Maybe you should sit down."

"Okay," I mumbled.

I sat on the ground, this time no Lee to wrap his arms around me, and tried not to get sick again.

"Well, the wolf's out of the bag now." Embry sighed. "Way to go, Jake."

I raised my head to glare at the two boys who seemed to be taking this all so lightly. "Aren't you worried about them at all?" I demanded.

Embry blinked once in surprise "Worried? Why?"

“They could hurt each other! Lee just-!” I cut myself off, not knowing how to describe it, “Paul’s going to kill him! Or Jacob!”

Embry and Jared guffawed.

"I hope Paul gets a mouthful of him," Jared said. "Teach him a lesson."

I blanched.

"Yeah, right!" Embry disagreed. "Did you see Jake? Even Sam couldn't have phased on the fly like that. It took him, what, half a second to attack? The boy's got a gift. And it’s two against one, even if it’s his first time, Lee Clearwater has a temper to match Paul’s."

"Paul's been fighting longer. I'll bet you ten bucks he leaves a mark on one of them."

"You're on. Paul doesn't have a prayer."

They shook hands, grinning.

I tried to comfort myself with their lack of concern, but I couldn't drive the brutal image of the fighting werewolves from my head. Lee was smaller than both of them. My stomach churned, sore and empty, my head ached with worry.

"Let's go see Emily. You know she'll have food waiting." Embry looked down at me. "Mind giving us a ride?"

"No problem," I choked. I didn’t really want to go to Emily’s place. Emily was half of the pair that hurt Lee, and I just wanted to wait here for him to get back.

Jared raised one eyebrow. "Maybe you'd better drive, Embry. He still looks like he might hurl."

"Good idea. Where are the keys?" Embry asked me.

"Ignition."

Embry opened the passenger-side door. "In you go," he said cheerfully, hauling me up from the ground with one hand and stuffing me into my seat. He appraised the available space. "You'll have to ride in the back," he told Jared.

"That's fine. I got a weak stomach. I don't want to be in there when he blows."

"I bet he's tougher than that. He runs with vampires."

"Five bucks?" Jared asked.

"Done. I feel guilty, taking your money like this."

Embry got in and started the engine while Jared leapt agilely into the bed. As soon as his door was closed, Embry muttered to me, "Don't throw up, okay? I've only got a ten, and if Paul got his teeth into Jacob…"

"Okay," I whispered.

Embry drove us back toward the village.

"Hey, how did Jake get around the injunction anyway?"

"The… what?"

"Er, the order. You know, to not spill the beans. How did he tell you about this?"

"Oh, that," I said, remembering Jacob trying to choke out the truth to us last night. "He didn't, Lee figured it out.”

Embry pursed his lips, looking surprised. "Hmm. S'pose that would work. Sam’s not going to like that."

I tamped down the part of me that wanted to scream that I didn’t care one-bit what Sam Uley liked.

“Where are we going?” I asked, I didn’t exactly know here Emily lived.

“Emily’s house, she’s Sam’s girlfriend, er, fiancée now, I guess. They'll meet us back there after Sam gives it to them for what just happened and helps Lee calm down. And after they scrounge up some new clothes if Paul even has any left."

I looked down at Lee’s bag at my feet, it had his extra change of clothes in case he ended up spending the night again. “I have some of Lee’s clothes right here, is there any way you could…?”

Embry sighed, “Yeah, I’ll drop his bag by the edge of the trees.”

Embry drove past the easternmost house on the highway before turning off onto a narrow dirt road.

"Your truck is slow," he noted.

"Don’t diss the truck."

At the end of the lane was a tiny house that had once been grey. There was only one narrow window beside the weathered blue door, but the window box under it was filled with bright orange and yellow marigolds, giving the whole place a cheerful look.

Embry turned to me just before he stopped, “Just… don’t stare, okay?”

I was too confused to bother asking him what he meant.

Embry opened the truck door and inhaled. "Mmm, Emily's cooking."

Jared jumped out of the back of the truck and headed for the door, but Embry stopped him with one hand on his chest. He looked at me meaningfully and cleared his throat.

"I don't have my wallet on me," Jared said.

"That's okay. I won't forget."

Embry took the bag and dropped it by the trees just to the right of the house.

They climbed up the one step and entered the house without knocking.

I hesitated and stared at the line of trees where his bag was sat, wondering how far away he and Jake had gotten.

I walked into the house.

The front room, like Billy's house, was mostly kitchen. A young woman with satiny copper skin and long, straight, black hair was standing at the counter by the sink, popping big muffins out of a tin and placing them on a paper plate. For one second, I thought the reason Embry had told me not to stare was because the girl was so beautiful.

And then she asked, "You guys hungry?" in a melodic voice, and she turned to face us full on, a smile on half of her face.

The right side of her face was scarred from hairline to chin by three thick, red lines, livid in colour though they were long healed. One line pulled down the corner of her dark, almond-shaped right eye, another twisted the right side of her mouth into a permanent grimace.

Thankful for Embry's warning, I quickly turned my eyes to the muffins in her hands. They smelled wonderful, like fresh blueberries. Like a specific blueberry recipe I now owned a copy of.

"Oh," Emily said, surprised. "Who's this?"

I looked up, trying to focus on the left half of her face.

“Beau Swan,” Jared told her, shrugging. Apparently, I'd been a topic of conversation before. "Who else?"

"Leave it to Jacob to find a way around," Emily murmured. She stared at me, and her beautiful face was not friendly. "So, you're the vampire boy.”

I stiffened. "Yes. Are you the wolf girl?"

He laughed, as did Embry and Jared. His face warmed. "I guess I am." He turned to Jared. "Where's Sam?"

The boys both suddenly looked uncomfortable.

“Well, Beau kind of… surprised Paul this morning.”

Emily rolled her good eye. "Ah, Paul," he sighed. "Do you think they'll be long? I was just about to start the eggs."

Jared and Embry shared a look. Emily suddenly looked worried, “What else?”

Embry bit his lip before continuing, “It wasn’t just Beau with Jacob this morning…”

Emily’s face dawned in horror, “Who else…?”

Jared gave her a remorseful smile. “Leland Clearwater phased when Paul snapped at Beau.”

Her face froze in shock, and I felt myself grow more worried and uncomfortable.

After a moment she turned back to the stove, “Well, I’ll just add in some more eggs then.” Her voice was back to the same cheery tone it had been before, but there was a tension underneath it now.

"Don't worry," Embry told her. "If they're late, we won't let anything go to waste."

Emily chuckled, and then opened the refrigerator. "No doubt," she agreed. "Beau, are you hungry? Go ahead and help yourself to a muffin."

"Thanks." I took one from the plate and started nibbling around the edges. It was delicious, as I knew it would be, and it felt good in my tender stomach. Embry picked up his third and shoved it into his mouth whole.

"Save some for your brothers," Emily chastised him, hitting him on the head with a wooden spoon. I felt like the word should have surprised me, but I found it oddly fitting in that moment.

"Pig," Jared commented.

I leaned against the counter and watched the three of them banter like a family. Emily's kitchen was a friendly place, bright with white cupboards and pale wooden floorboards. On the little round table, a cracked blue-and-white china pitcher was overflowing with wildflowers. Embry and Jared seemed entirely at ease here.

I couldn’t help the bitterness in my chest on behalf of Lee though.

Emily was mixing a humongous batch of eggs, several dozen, in a big yellow bowl.

“This is Sue Clearwater’s muffin recipe, right?” I asked, trying to distract myself.

Emily looked surprised when I asked, but nodded, “Yes, she taught me how to make them when I was younger.”

I mustered up a smile, “Yeah, she gave me the recipe so I could make some for Lee.”

I figured avoiding the topic would only make it worse.

Emily’s eyes tightened around the edges, but she kept her smile, “They always were his favourite.”

“Still are.”

The front door opened, and Sam stepped through.

"Emily," he said, and so much love saturated his voice that I felt embarrassed, intrusive, as I watched him cross the room in one stride and take her face in his wide hands. He leaned down and kissed the dark scars on her right cheek before he kissed her lips.

"Hey, none of that," Jared complained. "I'm eating."

"Then shut up and eat," Sam suggested, kissing Emily's mouth again.

"Ugh," Embry groaned.

Jacob and Paul came through the door next, laughing, and I looked behind them, waiting for the person I most wanted to see.

I ignored the bickering in the kitchen, Paul showing off the teeth-marks, and Jacob came right over to me.

“He’s outside, he doesn’t want to come in yet.”

I nodded gratefully at his explanation, hugging him once tightly, and made my way out.

Lee was leaning against the side of my truck, wearing the extra shirt and his jeans- which were now cut off above his knees- that had been packed away.

I took a few hesitant steps forward, “Lee?”

He looked up at me, and I could see the tears in his eyes.

He stared at me blankly for a moment, his eyes hazing over before they focused intently at me. He shook his head, clearing away whatever was going on in that brain of his.

I couldn’t stop myself from racing forward and throwing my arms around his waist.

“Lee! Are you hurt? I was so worried-” Lee’s arms wrapped around me tightly, stopping me from whatever I was saying.

I felt his body trembling, and for a minute I thought he was going to phase, until I felt the wet drops against my head.

“Oh, Lee…”

I tugged him gently until we were at the back of my truck, without letting him go I lowered the hatch and sat on it, pulling him into my arms until his head was tucked against my neck.

He had to bend awkwardly with our height difference, but his fingers twisted into my shirt and I figured he had bigger things to worry about.

We stayed like that for a while. I rubbed my hand in circles on his back, clinging to him tightly with the other one, and cried with him.

It was all really unfair.

“ _Beau._ ” His voice broke, and I felt my heart go with it.

After what seemed like forever his tears finally slowed and he pulled back slightly. I brought my hands to his face and wiped away the tear tracks.

He sniffed, “No one noticed the signs. I wasn’t any angrier than usual, even through the growth spurt they never... No one even thought I…” He shuddered, “I don’t know how I did it, one second I was next to you, and then all I could think about what keeping him away from you, and I wanted to tear his head off for even _thinking_ about hurting you.”

I continued to soothe him, “I’m so sorry, Lee.” I felt so guilty. If I had just stayed in the truck or been anywhere else.

His jaw worked, “It would’ve happened soon anyways, according to them. This was just the trigger.” His body began trembling slightly, and he closed his eyes, breathing deeply.

“But still, you don’t deserve this, Lee.” My eyes slipped passed him to the house.

Inside of it were the two people who had hurt him most, and now he was tied to them through this stupid pack thing. I glared at the building as if it had offended me personally.

When I looked back to Lee, he was staring at me with that strange look.

I gave him a smile I hoped was comforting, and his hand slid to the side of my face.

“Beau…”

I noticed then just how much warmer he had gotten since the night before.

He leaned down slowly, and my eyes slipped shut. His lips pressed against my forehead, and I twisted our free hands together.

“Thank you.”

“Beau! Lee!” I pulled away only far enough to see Jacob standing in the doorway.

He made his way down to the truck and bumped his shoulder against Lee’s.

“Feeling any better?” His face was sunny, but I could see the genuine worry for him in his eyes.

He nodded once, but the grip he had on my hand grew tighter.

Jacob gave us an assessing look before shaking his head, focussing his eyes back on me.

He nodded back towards the house, “The guys are ready to hear what we have.”

I looked to Lee, “You can wait out here if you want. I can give them the information and we can leave.”

He thought for a moment before shaking his head, “I’ll come with you, and then we can leave.” His shoulders squared in determination, and together the three of us went back inside.

"Hey, guys," Sam said in a loud voice once we had passed the threshold, interrupting all the conversations going on in the small room. Emily was at the stove, scraping the egg mixture around a big skillet, but Sam still had one hand touching the small of her back, an unconscious gesture. Lee’s grip around me tightened, "Jacob has information for us."

"I know what the redhead wants." Jacob directed his words toward Jared and Embry. "That's what I was trying to tell you before." He kicked the leg of the chair Paul had settled into.

"And?" Jared asked.

Jacob's face got serious. "She _is_ trying to avenge her mate. The Cullens got her mate last year, and she's after Beau now."

This wasn't news to us, but I still shivered, and Lee tensed.

Jared, Embry, and Emily stared at me with open-mouthed surprise.

“He’s just a boy!” Embry protested.

"I didn't say it made sense. But that's why the bloodsucker's been trying to get past us. She's been heading for Forks."

They continued to stare at me, mouths still hanging open, for a long moment. I ducked my head.

"Excellent," Jared finally said, a smile beginning to pull up the corners of his mouth. "We've got bait."

Lee growled at him and started to shake; Jacob grabbed the nearest object, a can-opener, from the counter and launched it at Jared's head. Jared's hand flicked up faster than I would have thought possible, and he snagged the tool just before it hit his face.

“Beau is _not_ bait.”

I grabbed Jake’s hand, and leaned my head against Lee while he calmed himself.

"You know what I mean," Jared said, unabashed.

"So we'll be changing our patterns," Sam said, ignoring their squabble. "We'll try leaving a few holes and see if she falls for it. We'll have to split up, and I don't like that. But if she's really after Beau, she probably won't try to take advantage of our smaller numbers."

"Quil's got to be close to joining us," Embry murmured. "And with Lee here now we’ll have even numbers."

Everyone looked down. I glanced at Jacob's face, and it was hopeless, like it had been yesterday afternoon, outside his house. No matter how comfortable they seemed to be with their fate, here in this happy kitchen, none of these werewolves wanted the same for their friend.

"Well, we won't count on that," Sam said in a low voice, and then continued at his regular volume. "Paul, Jared, and Lee will take the outer perimeter, and Jacob, Embry, and I will take the inner. We'll collapse in when we've got her trapped."

I noticed that Emily didn't particularly like that Sam would be in a smaller grouping. Her worry had me glancing up at Jacob and Lee, worrying, too.

Sam caught my eye. "Jacob thinks it would be best if you spent as much time as possible here in La Push. She won't know where to find you so easily, just in case."

"What about my dad?" I demanded.

"March Madness is still going," Jacob said. "I think Billy and Harry can manage to keep Charlie down here when he's not at work."

"Wait," Sam said, holding one hand up. "That's what Jacob thinks is best, but you need to decide for yourself.”

“I won’t hurt him!” Lee growled out.

“Neither will I.” Jacob grumbled, looking down.

Sam acted as if he hadn't heard him speak. "If there was somewhere else you felt safe…"

I shook my head. “I wouldn’t want to lead Victoria anywhere else.” I left out the part where they’d have to drag me kicking and screaming away from Lee and Jacob at this point.

Sam nodded. "That's true. It's better to have her here, where we can end this."

I flinched. I didn't want Jacob or any of the rest of them trying to end Victoria. I glanced at Jake's face; it was relaxed, almost the same as I remembered it from before the onset of the wolf thing, and utterly unconcerned by the idea of hunting vampires. I looked at Lee’s, he just looked resolved with the whole thing.

"You'll be careful, right?" I asked, an audible lump in my throat.

The boys burst into loud hoots of amusement. Everyone laughed at me, except Emily and Lee. Emily met my eyes; her face was alive with a concern as fierce as mine.

"Food's ready," she announced then, and the strategic conversation was history. The other guys hurried to surround the table, which looked tiny and in danger of being crushed by them and devoured the buffet-sized pan of eggs Emily placed in their midst in record time.

Lee and I slipped out while the rest ate.

I spent part of the day in the Clearwater house, the first place I took Lee was home, though he was nervous about showing up.

I lead him inside, luckily for us, Seth was gone with friends for the day, and I cooked him a large pile of eggs and pancakes.

I figured his appetite would be similar to the rest of the pack’s.

Sue arrived home an hour after that with her groceries; she nearly dropped her bags when her eyes landed on Lee, and I whispered that I’d be down at Billy’s if he needed me.

Billy left a message on Charlie's phone at the park’s office, and I was tucked back into Lee’s side when Charlie showed up around dinnertime with three pizzas. It was good he brought the three larges; Jacob and Lee each ate a whole one by themselves.

Charlie kept giving Lee and Jacob weird looks, but he thankfully kept his questions to himself.

I knew that as soon as Charlie and I were headed home, Jacob would take off, off to run around as a wolf, as he had done intermittently through the entire day. Lee had been told to mostly rest up, that after a day or two to get used to his new body, he would be joining them.

Jacob and his brothers of sorts kept up a constant watch, looking for some sign of Victoria's return. But since they'd chased her away from the hot springs last night, chased her halfway to Canada, according to Jacob, she'd yet to make another foray.

I had no hope at all that she might just give up. I didn't have that kind of luck.

Jacob and Lee walked me to my truck after dinner, we lingered for a moment, waiting for my dad to drive away first.

"Don't be afraid tonight," Jacob said, while Charlie pretended to be having trouble with his seat belt. "We'll be out there, watching."

"I won't worry about myself," I promised.

"You're silly. Hunting vampires is fun. It's the best part of this whole mess."

I shook my head. "If I'm silly, then you're dangerously unbalanced."

He chuckled. "Get some rest, Beau, honey. You look exhausted." He ruffled my hair and glanced at Lee before jogging back inside.

“I’ll try.”

"See you tomorrow," Jacob said. "Come down first thing."

"I will."

Lee turned to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I tucked my face into his shoulder and hugged him around his waist. I felt his head press into my hair, and he sighed.

“Will you be okay, tonight, Lee? I can convince dad to let me come over so I can take care of you.”

He hummed, “I can’t. Dad was freaking out about… all this, and I think there’s a few things he and I need to talk about.”

I sighed, but I understood, “Alright.”

We were quiet for a moment before Lee pressed a kiss to the top of my head and stepped away, “Goodnight, Beau.”

“Goodnight, Lee.”

Charlie followed me home. I paid scant attention to the lights in my rear-view mirror. Instead, I wondered where Sam and Jared and Embry and Paul were, out running in the night. I wondered if Jacob had joined them yet.

When we got home, I hurried for the stairs, but Charlie was right behind me.

"What's going on, Beau?" he demanded before I could escape. "I thought Jacob was fighting with you and Lee."

"We made up."

“What?”

"I don't know, but I met Sam Uley and his fiancée, Emily.” I shrugged, trying to distract him.

His face changed. "I hadn't heard that he and Emily had made it official. That's nice. Poor girl."

"Do you know what happened to her?"

"I’m surprised Lee hasn’t told you, well, they did have that falling out just before, so I guess he wouldn’t… anyways, she was mauled by a bear, up north, during salmon spawning season, horrible accident. It was more than a year ago now. I heard Sam was really messed up over it."

"That's horrible," I echoed. I briefly considered the thought of maybe something else having happened, but quickly dismissed it. That would’ve been some pertinent information if I was going to be around the pack this much, and I know someone would have filled me in.

That night, I lay awake for a long time trying to sort through the day. I worked my way backward through dinner with Billy, Jacob, Lee, and Charlie, to the long afternoon in the Blacks' house, waiting anxiously to hear something from Jacob while hoping Lee was okay, to holding Lee while he broke down, to Emily's kitchen, to the horror of the werewolf fight, to talking with Lee and Jake in the garage, and to the pre-dawn appearance of Jacob.

And I thought about Jacob and his brothers, out running in the darkness. I fell asleep imagining the wolves, invisible in the night, guarding me from danger.

When I dreamed, I stood in the forest. I was holding Emily's scarred hand as we faced into the shadows and waited anxiously for our werewolves to come home.


	5. Chapter 5

It was Spring Break in Forks again. When I woke up on Monday morning, I lay in bed for a few seconds absorbing that. Last spring break, I'd been hunted by a vampire, too. I hoped this wasn't some kind of tradition forming, I was running out of mythical creatures to save me from them.

Already I was falling into the pattern of things in La Push. I'd spent Sunday mostly at the Clearwater’s, while Charlie hung out with Billy at the Blacks' house. Lee and I were supposed to be with Jacob, but Jacob had other things to do, so we mostly spent the day with Sue in the kitchen or in the backyard where Lee was trying to get the hang of phasing back and forth.

When Jacob dropped in to check on us, he apologized for ditching so much. He told us his schedule wasn't always this crazy, but until Victoria was stopped, the wolves were on red alert.

Lee was supposed to join them within the next few days, though he considered asking to be put on Beau Protection Detail.

“I just don’t want Sam to be in my head like that. He’d be hearing every errant thought in my head, and I’d have to be stuck hearing all the gushy details about him and Emily.”

Lee started shaking again, he had only phased back a few minutes before and I knew he was running dangerously low on underwear and compression tops already, so I walked closer and ran my hands through his hair.

I’d seen Sue do it a few times and it seemed to calm him down quickly.

“I know, it sucks, Lee, and if you want, I’ll go beat Sam up until he lets you out of it.” That finally pulled a chuckle from him. I was about as big as one of Sam’s arms, but I’d sure try it if one of my boys asked me to.

Despite Jacob trying to warm the two of us up to Sam, I simply refused to forgive him and Emily for what they did to Lee. I was glad he was able to help them through the werewolf thing, but that was it.

I worked Tuesday afternoon. Lee followed me on his bike to make sure I got there safely. Jacob had originally volunteered to do it, but he’d been running late, and I’d ordered him to bed for some decent sleep.

Mike, unfortunately, noticed.

“Are you dating that kid from La Push?” He asked, poorly disguising the resentment in his tone.

I shrugged, feeling my face heat up. “Not really.” I mumbled, “I spend most of my time with Lee _and_ Jake, they’re my best friends.”

Mike's eyes narrowed shrewdly, “Are you sure? Seems like you’re both pretty head over heels for each other.”

I shrugged again, and Mike turned away muttering something I didn’t care to catch under his breath.

It wasn’t a difficult assumption to make, I’d give him that.

Lee and I had been joined at the hip while Jake was avoiding us, and our casual physical affection was something I didn’t much do with my other friends. Things with Lee were just easier.

Lee and I had shared life experiences, ones that left us more understanding of how the other felt than anyone else, even more than Jacob.

I also couldn’t deny that some part of me was starting to open up to the idea of being with Lee. I knew that neither one of us were quite ready for that. I still felt a little nauseous thinking about Edward and the family I desperately had wanted to be a part of, and the flashes of emotion every time Sam was mentioned lent a hint at Lee’s own state.

But there was a tiny voice in the back of my head that could help but say maybe. _Maybe one day. If it was Lee._

That night, Sam and Emily joined Charlie and me for dessert at Billy's house. Emily brought a cake that would have won over a harder man than Charlie. I could see, as the conversation flowed naturally through a range of casual subjects, that any worries Charlie might have harboured were being dissolved.

Lee had gone home once Billy had mentioned them, and he shook his head at my offer to join him.

“Seth is feeling like I’ve been neglecting him, so mom is having us sit down for a family meal.” His lips twisted up in a wry, “Dad is trying to find a way to break the news to Seth. We don’t know how long we can hide my furry little problem and mom doesn’t want him to find out by actually seeing it.”

I could tell it was more than that, but I wasn’t going to push him about this. Lee pressed a kiss to the top of my forehead, something that had become fairly regular since he had broken down in the bed of my truck, and left.

I was glad when I heard the roar of his bike instead of the shredding of his clothes.

Jake and I skipped out early, to get some privacy and so I would stop glaring at Sam whenever he looked at me or in my general direction. We went out to his garage and sat in the Rabbit.

Jacob leaned his head back, his face drawn with exhaustion.

"You need some sleep, Jake. I told you to catch up on it this morning."

"I'll get around to it."

He reached over and took my hand. His skin was blazing on mine.

"Is that one of those wolf things?" I asked him. "The heat, I mean. I’ve had to start cracking windows whenever I sit too close to Lee."

"Yeah. We run a little warmer than other people. About one-oh-eight, one-oh-nine. I never get cold anymore. I could stand shirtless in a snowstorm and it wouldn't bother me. The flakes would turn to rain where I stood."

"And you all heal fast, that's a wolf thing, too?"

"Yeah, wanna see? It's pretty cool." His eyes flipped open and he grinned. He reached around me to the glove compartment and dug around for a minute. His hand came out with a pocketknife.

"No, I do not want to see!" I shouted as soon as I realized what he was thinking. "Put that away!"

Jacob chuckled, but shoved the knife back where it belonged. "Fine. It's a good thing we heal, though. You can't go see just any doctor when you're running a temperature that should mean you're dead."

"No, I guess not." I thought about that for a minute. "… And being so big, that's part of it? Is that why you're all worried about Quil?"

"That and the fact that Quil's grandfather says the kid could fry an egg on his forehead." Jacob's face turned hopeless. "It won't be long now. There's no exact age… it just builds and builds and then suddenly-" He broke off, and it was a moment before he could speak again. "Sometimes, if you get really upset or something, that can trigger it. But I wasn't upset about anything, I was happy." He laughed bitterly. “Lee got me in the door after the movies and drove away. My dad just looked at me, he said I looked a little strange and I felt _something_ trying to claw its way out of my chest, like it had just been waiting to be let free. He managed to get me to go outside before I absolutely wrecked the house, but…”

"Is it really bad, Jake?" I asked anxiously, wishing I had some way to help him. "Are you miserable?" I thought about all the ways I could sneak Lee and Jacob out of the state. Hell, out of the country if I had to. The Pack and Victoria could stuff it, I just wanted my boys happy and safe.

"No, I'm not miserable," he told me. "Not anymore. Not now that you know. You and Lee. That was hard, before." He leaned over so that his cheek was resting on top of my head.

"What's the very best part?" I asked, hoping to cheer him up.

"The best part," he said, suddenly smiling again, "is the speed."

"Better than the motorcycles?"

He nodded, enthusiastic. "There's no comparison."

"How fast can you…?"

"Run?" he finished my question. "Fast enough. What can I measure it by? We can run fast enough to catch bloodsuckers. I imagine that means more to you than it would to someone else."

It did mean something to me. I couldn't imagine that, the wolves running faster than a vampire. When the Cullens ran, they all but turned invisible with speed.

"So, tell me something I don't know," he said. "Something about vampires. How did you stand it, being around them? Didn't it creep you out?"

"No," I said. It was impossible to explain my reaction to the Cullens, to Edward. He was constantly telling me how much of a predator he was, and yet I never felt anything but at ease with them.

I still wasn’t sure what that said about me.

"Why'd your bloodsucker kill that James, anyway?" he asked suddenly.

"James was trying to kill me- it was like a game for him. He lost. Do you remember last spring when I was in the hospital down in Phoenix?"

Jacob sucked in a breath. "He got that close?"

"He got very, very close." I stroked my scar. Jacob noticed, because he held the hand I moved.

"What's that?" He traded hands, examining my right. "This is your funny scar, the cold one." He looked at it closer, with new eyes, and gasped.

"Yeah, it's what you think it is," I said. "James bit me."

His eyes bulged, and his face turned a strange, sallow colour under the russet surface. He looked like he was about to be sick.

"But if he bit you…? Shouldn't you be…?" He choked.

"Edward saved me twice," I whispered. "He sucked the venom out; you know, like with a rattlesnake." I gave a half-hearted chuckle at that. The whole situation had been absurd.

I felt Jake’s hand twitch in mine, and I rubbed comforting motions into his arm, "Careful, Jake. Easy. Calm down."

"Yeah," he panted. "Calm." He shook his head back and forth quickly. After a moment, the trembling started to slow.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, almost. Tell me something else. Give me something else to think about."

"What do you want to know?"

"I don't know." He had his eyes closed, concentrating. "The extra stuff, I guess. Did any of the other Cullens have… extra talents? Like the mind reading?"

I hesitated a second. This felt like a question he would ask of his spy, not his friend. But what was the point of hiding what I knew? It didn't matter now anyways.

I narrowed my eyes at him even though he couldn’t see me, "Jasper could… sort of control the emotions of the people around him. Calm someone down, that kind of thing. It would probably help Paul a lot," I added, teasing weakly. I didn’t actually know much about Jasper’s power. "And then Alice could see things that were going to happen. The future, you know, but not absolutely. The things she saw would change when someone changed the path they were on…"

Like how she'd seen me dying… and she'd seen me becoming one of them. Two things that had not happened. I didn’t know how I felt about that. It had been something I had been so certain of before they left.

I had been so ready to give up everything and everyone before they left. I was ready to be immortal and perfect with them, as long as it meant Edward and I got to stay together.

Now, even if it had still been an option, I wasn’t sure if I’d choose to go through with it, at least not right away. I had already missed out on a childhood of memories with Charlie, and I wasn’t too quick to cut off the possibility of making more. Plus, I had Jake and Lee now, and trying to imagine my life without both of them was rapidly becoming an impossibility.

I knew I was becoming dependant on them similarly to the way I had with the Cullens, but I didn’t know how to put a stop to the need I felt for their presence.

Jake wrapped me up in a hug just then, “Hey, let’s talk about something else, okay?”

I nodded against his chest, “Yeah, okay.”

Wednesday I was left to my own devices. I felt bad about taking up space in Billy’s house, though I did manage some studying for another Calculus test that was coming up next week, but I could only look at math for so long. When I didn't have something obvious to do in my hands, I felt like I ought to be making conversation with Billy- the pressure of normal societal rules. But Billy wasn't one for filling up the long silences, and so the awkwardness continued. I would’ve gone to the Clearwater’s instead if anyone had been home just for the distracting chatter.

I tried hanging out at Emily’s for a little while, but I had arrived just as Sam was returning, and once I’d learned that Lee was doing good on his first patrol, and both of my boys were safe, I had left. Seeing them so content and happy in love made me feel bitter again.

I knew, in some distant part of my brain, that I probably had no right to despise their relationship as much as I did, but they had hurt Lee, and I was too protective of him to go be friendly just yet.

So that left me wandering the beach, pacing the length of the rocky crescent back and forth, again and again.

Alone time still wasn’t my favourite. Thanks to my newfound honesty with Jake and Lee, I was talking and thinking about the Cullens more and more. Granted, I had more pressing issues taking the forefront of my mind. Like Charlie and the groups of people who thought they were hunting wild animals, or the fact that Jake and Lee and a pack of werewolf minors were hunting down a vampire who wanted me dead.

But I still couldn’t stop the back of my mind narrowing in on them. It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would anymore. I only felt a twinge whenever I had to talk about them, but it still stung. Not so much the fact that Edward broke up with me. I think I could’ve figured out a way to deal with that, but that the whole family left without so much as a goodbye.

I had been so wrapped up in them, barely interacting with my non-supernaturally inclined friends except when they went hunting or it was too sunny for them to be out, and suddenly it was all gone.

Alice had been my best friend, and Emmett and I had grown close before he and Rose went on their vacation. I had spent so much time with Esme in her kitchen, and Carlisle in his study learning all the history he had witnessed.

The second family I had become a part of had just abandoned me with the knowledge of a world I couldn’t divulge and a shared trauma I hadn’t dealt with.

Eventually, I couldn't even walk anymore because I couldn't breathe. I sat down on a patch of semi dry rocks and curled up in a ball.

Jake and Lee found me like that.

“Sorry,” Jake said right away. Lee was on my in a flash, pulling me up from the ground and wrapping his arm around me. Jake pressed in on the other side, and I realised then that I was cold. Their heat made me shiver, but I could breathe easier with my boys there.

"I'm ruining your spring break," Jacob accused himself as we walked back up the beach.

"No, you're not. I didn't have any plans. I don't think I like spring breaks, anyway."

Jacob chuckled bitterly at that, and Lee’s grip tightened. I guessed Jacob had spilled last year’s adventure over the pack-mind.

“I’ll take tomorrow morning off.” Lee stated, and I could see the worry for me in his eyes. I hated it; I should’ve been the one fretting over him right now.

“Yeah!” Jacob cheered, “The others can run without us. Let’s go do something _fun_.”

The word seemed out of place in my life right now, barely comprehensible, bizarre. "Fun?"

"Fun is exactly what you need. Hmm…" he gazed out across the heaving grey waves, deliberating. As his eyes scanned the horizon, he had a flash of inspiration.

“Got it!”

“No.” Jacob looked over at Lee’s glare and stuck his tongue out.

“Come on, we did promise him.”

“That was before we knew he had a psychotic vampire trying to kill him!”

“He’ll have both of us with him, and we’ll do it from the human-safe level! Or are you saying you don’t think you can protect Beau?”

Lee growled and spun us, so he was in between me and Jake.

Jacob just chuckled in Lee’s face, “So I’m guessing you’re fine with it then?”

“Hey, does anyone wanna fill me in?” I peered my head around Lee, pinching the boy slightly in his side. I was slightly annoyed that the two were having a conversation about me over my head again.

Jacob pointed toward the southern edge of the beach, where the flat, rocky half-moon dead-ended against the sheer sea cliffs. I stared, uncomprehending.

“Didn’t we promise to take you cliff-diving?”

I shivered.

"Yeah, it'll be pretty cold- not as cold as it is today. Can you feel the weather changing? The pressure? It will be warmer tomorrow. You up for it?"

The dark water did not look inviting, and, from this angle, the cliffs looked even higher than before.

“See? Beau doesn’t want to do it.”

I moved around Lee and looked between the two of them for a moment before conceding.

“Lee’s right, Jake. Cliff-diving feels like a summer-specific activity. Even if it is warmer tomorrow, it’ll probably be too cold for _me_.” I mock-glared at the both of them, “Some of us weren’t blessed with super body heat.”

That at least pulled a chuckle from Lee, and I felt him relax against me.

Jake sighed, “Could I at least convince you to go swimming? That’s a spring break staple.”

I groaned, but after a moment I just nodded. Jake deserved to have some fun too.

Jacob whooped and punched the air, and I was happy to see him look so young for a moment.

“Alright, now time to get you boys some _sleep_.” The dark marks that had been etched in Jacob’s skin were starting to appear of Lee’s face, and I didn’t like that at all.

I woke up the next morning too early for most people, but later than I’d been sleeping lately. I packed a change of clothes and the swim trunks I had gone out to buy yesterday. They were a simple green pair that matched the sweater I wore over my tank top.

Charlie looked surprised when he saw me in the shorts, I hadn’t really worn anything except jeans since I’d moved up here, so I couldn’t blame him.

“Beau?”

I just shrugged and sat down to eat some breakfast with him. “Lee and Jake wanted to go swimming since it was supposed to be warmer today, so…”

“Ah. Make sure to be careful though, those waves are still pretty choppy.”

We finished the rest of our breakfast in silence and I stopped only long enough to hug him on my way out, “Be safe today, dad!”

“Alright, you too!”

I expected Jacob and Lee to meet me out front, the way they usually did when my noisy truck announced my arrival. We had agreed to meet here before we went down to the shore. When they didn’t, I guessed that Jake could’ve still been asleep, and Lee hadn’t arrived just yet. I would wait, let Jake get as much rest as he could and give Lee time to show up. Jake needed his sleep, and that would give the day time to warm a bit more.

Jake had been right about the weather, though; it had changed in the night. A thick layer of clouds pressed heavily on the atmosphere now, making it almost sultry; it was warm and close under the grey blanket. I left my sweater in the truck.

I knocked quietly on the door.

“C’mon in, Beau.” Billy called.

He was at the kitchen table, eating cold cereal.

"Jake sleeping?"

"Er, no." He set his spoon down, and his eyebrows pulled together.

"What happened?" I demanded. I could tell from his expression that something had.

"Embry, Jared, and Paul crossed a fresh trail early this morning. Sam, Jake, and Lee took off to help. Sam was hopeful, she's hedged herself in beside the mountains. He thinks they have a good chance to finish this."

“Oh, no, Billy," I whispered. "Oh, no."

He chuckled, deep and low. "Do you really like La Push so well that you want to extend your sentence here?"

"Don't make jokes, Billy. This is too scary for that."

"You're right," he agreed, still complacent. His ancient eyes were impossible to read. "This one's tricky."

I bit my lip.

"It's not as dangerous for them as you think it is. Sam knows what he's doing. You're the one that you should worry about. The vampire doesn't want to fight them. She's just trying to find a way around them… to you."

"How does Sam know what he's doing?" I demanded, brushing aside his concern for me. "They haven’t even killed any vampires!"

"We take what we do very seriously, Bella. Nothing's been forgotten. Everything they need to know has been passed down from father to son for generations."

That didn't comfort me the way he probably intended it to. The memory of Victoria, wild, catlike, lethal, was too strong in my head. If she couldn't get around the wolves, she would eventually try to go through them.

Billy went back to his breakfast; I sat down on the sofa and flipped aimlessly though the TV channels.

That didn't last long. I started to feel closed in by the small room, claustrophobic, upset by the fact that I couldn't see out the curtained windows.

"I'll be at the beach," I told Billy abruptly, and hurried out the door.

Being outside didn't help as much as I'd hoped. The clouds pushed down with an invisible weight that kept the claustrophobia from easing. The forest seemed strangely vacant as I walked toward the beach. I didn't see any animals, no birds, no squirrels. I couldn't hear any birds, either. The silence was eerie; there wasn't even the sound of wind in the trees.

I knew it was all just a product of the weather, but it still made me edgy. The heavy, warm pressure of the atmosphere was perceptible even to my weak human senses, and it hinted at something major in the storm department. A glance at the sky backed this up; the clouds were churning sluggishly despite the lack of breeze on the ground. The closest clouds were a smoky grey, but between the cracks I could see another layer that was a gruesome purple colour. The skies had a ferocious plan in store for today. The animals must be bunkering down.

As soon as I reached the beach, I wished I hadn't come; I'd already had enough of this place. I'd been here almost every day, wandering alone. But where else to go? I trudged down to the driftwood tree and sat at the end so that I could lean against the tangled roots. I stared up at the angry sky broodingly, waiting for the first drops to break the stillness.

I tried not to think of the danger Jacob and Leah and the rest of the pack were in. Because nothing could happen to them. The thought was unendurable. They were just children forced into these roles necessary to protect their families and tribe. It was unfair. They didn’t ask for any of this. They didn’t want to get ripped away from their normal lives and face down immortal beings. Beings who were fast. And made of stone. And so _strong-_

No. Nothing would happen to them. I had to believe that, or I wouldn’t be able to function.

"Argh!" I groaned and jumped off the log. I couldn't sit still; it was worse than pacing.

The waves picked up as I paced, beginning to crash against the rocks, but there was still no wind. I felt pinned down by the pressure of the storm. Everything swirled around me, but it was perfectly still where I stood. The air had a faint electric charge, I could feel the static in my hair.

Farther out, the waves were angrier than they were along the shore. I could see them battering against the line of the cliffs, spraying big white clouds of sea foam into the sky. There was still no movement in the air, though the clouds roiled more quickly now. It was eerie looking, like the clouds were moving by their own will. I shivered, though I knew it was just a trick of the pressure.

Before I realised what I was doing I was kicking off my sneakers and pulling off my socks. Jacob and Lee had promised to take me swimming, hadn’t they? I needed the distraction even though they weren’t there, maybe even more so since they were out there risking their lives. Risking it, in essence, for me. If it weren't for me, Victoria would not be killing people here… just somewhere else, far away. If anything happened to the pack, it would be my fault. That realization stabbed deep and had me walking quicker towards the water.

Once my toes touched the edge of the water, I felt a small thrill shoot through me. It was icy, colder than I had feared yesterday, and for some reason the feeling helped ground me back to what I was doing, away from what the group of kids were trying to do.

Once I got to about my hips in the water, I let myself dive in, plunging face first into the numbing water, and just swam out. I plunged deeper and deeper into the freezing black water, letting the sting drown out the rest of my thoughts. There was nothing but me and the water.

That was when the current caught me.

It felt like the waves were fighting over me, jerking me back and forth between them as if determined to share by pulling me into halves. I knew the right way to avoid a riptide: swim parallel to the beach rather than struggling for the shore. But the knowledge did me little good when I didn't know which way the shore was.

I couldn't even tell which way the surface was.

The angry water was black in every direction; there was no brightness to direct me upward. Gravity was all-powerful when it competed with the air, but it had nothing on the waves, I couldn't feel a downward pull, a sinking in any direction. Just the battering of the current that flung me round and round like a rag doll.

I fought to keep my breath in, to keep my lips locked around my last store of oxygen.

The cold of the water was numbing my arms and legs. I didn't feel the buffeting so much as before. It was more of just a dizziness now, a helpless spinning in the water. I forced my arms to continue reaching, my legs to kick harder, though every second I was facing a new direction. It couldn't be doing any good. What was the point?

I didn't want to fight anymore. And it wasn't the light-headedness, or the cold, or the failure of my arms as the muscles gave out in exhaustion, that made me content to stay where I was. I was almost happy that it was over. This was an easier death than others I'd faced. Oddly peaceful.

The current won at that moment, shoving me abruptly against something hard, a rock invisible in the gloom. It hit me solidly across the chest, slamming into me like an iron bar, and the breath whooshed out of my lungs, escaping in a thick cloud of silver bubbles. Water flooded down my throat, choking and burning. The iron bar seemed to be dragging me, pulling me to the ocean floor.

And then there was nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I'm really sorry for the mid-series break! I had a hard time dealing with the racism and queerphobia in the Twilight fandom, and it has just been very hard for me to continue working on this fic I started getting a LOT of backlash on.
> 
> I have decided to continue this, but it's going to be slow going for multiple reasons.
> 
> One: I'm a full time college student with a job  
> Two: I have severe ADHD, and my hyperfocus has taken me elsewhere, and  
> Three: I'm not fully a part of this fandom anymore.
> 
> Like I said, I'm still going to work on finishing this fic, and after this chapter we are going to start veering further away from canon events! Exciting!
> 
> If you do like this fic please keep commenting and kudosing, they make my heart flutter, and really do encourage me to keep going with this.

At that moment, my head broke the surface.

How disorienting. I was sure I’d been sinking.

The current wouldn't let up. It was slamming me against more rocks; they beat against the centre of my back sharply, rhythmically, pushing the water from my lungs. It gushed out in amazing volume, absolute torrents pouring from my mouth and nose. The salt in my lungs burned, and my throat was too full of water to catch a breath and the rocks were hurting my back. Somehow, I stayed in one place, though the waves still heaved around me. I couldn't see anything but water everywhere, reaching for my face.

"Breathe!" a voice, wild with anxiety, ordered, and I recognized the voice.

I could not obey. The waterfall pouring from my mouth didn't stop long enough for me to catch a breath.

The black, icy water filled my chest, burning.

The rock smacked into my back again, right between my shoulder blades, and another volley of water choked its way out of my lungs.

"Breathe, Beau! C'mon!" Jacob begged.

I heard a whining growl from somewhere distant.

Black spots bloomed across my vision, getting wider and wider, blocking out the light. The rock struck me again.

The rock wasn't cold like the water; it was hot on my skin. I realized it was Jacob's hand, trying to beat the water from my lungs. The iron bar that had dragged me from the sea was also… warm… My head whirled, the black spots covered everything…

The sound of the crashing waves faded into the black and became a quiet, even whoosh that sounded like it was coming from the inside of my ears…

“Beau?” Jacob asked, his voice tense but not as frantic as it was before, “Beau, honey, can you hear me?”

The contents of my head swished and rolled sickeningly, like they'd joined the rough water…

“How long has he been unconscious?” someone else asked, and the whining grew louder.

The voice that was not Jacob's shocked me, jarred me into a more focused awareness.

I realized that I was still. There was no tug of the current on me; the heaving was inside my head. The surface under me was flat and motionless. It felt grainy against my bare arms.

"I don't know," Jacob reported, still frantic. His voice was very close. Hands, so warm they had to be his, brushed wet hair from my cheeks. "A few minutes? It didn't take long to tow him to the beach."

The quiet whooshing inside my ears was not the waves; it was the air moving in and out of my lungs again. Each breath burned; the passageways were as raw as if I'd scrubbed them out with steel wool.

But I was breathing.

And I was freezing. A thousand sharp, icy beads were striking my face and arms, making the cold worse.

“He’s breathing, he’ll come around. We should get him out of the cold though, I don’t like the colour he’s turning…” I recognised Sam’s voice this time.

“You think it’s okay to move him?”

“He didn’t hurt anything while he was under?”

“I don’t know.”

Another whine, this time closer.

They hesitated.

I tried to open my eyes. It took me a minute, but then I could see the dark, purple clouds, flinging the freezing rain down at me. "Jake?" I croaked.

Jacob's face blocked out the sky. "Oh!" he gasped, relief washing over his features. His eyes were wet. "Oh, Beau! Are you okay? Can you hear me? Do you hurt anywhere?"

“J-Just m-my throat," I stuttered, my lips quivering from the cold.

The whining I had been hearing was right in my ear now, and I turned my head a little to see a giant nose pressed close to my face. I was shocked that I had missed it when I first opened my eyes, but once I caught a glimpse of the familiar silver coat I felt relief flood through me.

“H-hey, L-Lee.”

He whimpered and nuzzled my cheek gently.

"Let's get you out of here, then," Jacob said. He slid his arms under me and lifted me without effort, like picking up an empty box. His shirt was wet, but he was warm; he hunched his shoulders to keep the rain off of me, and his long hair curtained around my body. My head lolled over his arm. I stared directly into Lee’s eyes, wishing I could convince my numb limbs to let me reach out to him.

“You got him?”

“Yeah, Lee and I can take him from here, get back to Emily’s. Let the pack know we found him.”

My eyes slipped past Lee to the water. It licked and writhed up the sand after us as Jacob carried me away, like it was angry that I'd escaped. As I stared wearily, a spark of colour caught my unfocused eyes; a small flash of fire was dancing on the black water, far out in the bay. The image made no sense, and I wondered how conscious I really was. My head swirled with the memory of the black, churning water, of being so lost that I couldn't find up or down. So lost… but somehow Jacob…

"How did you find me?" I rasped.

"I was searching for you," he told me. He was half-jogging through the rain, up the beach toward the road. Lee padded along next to us, and I would have been worried about someone seeing him if the rain wasn’t so heavy. I could barely see him through it all. “Why would you go in, Beau? Didn't you notice that it's turning into a hurricane out here? Couldn't you have waited for us?" Anger filled his tone as the relief faded.

"Sorry," I muttered. "It was stupid."

"Yeah, it was really stupid," he agreed, drops of rain shaking free of his hair as he nodded. "Look, do you mind saving the stupid stuff for when one of us is around? I won’t be able to concentrate if I think you’re doing dumb shit behind my back, and Lee-” The wolf growl lowly at Jacob, but he acted like he hadn’t heard it, “-phased when we realised you were out in those waves he was so worried.”

I stared at the wolf, who was very resolutely keeping his eyes in front of him. I had been so dumb, so ready to just give in and take the easy death. How could I have done that to them? I didn’t need to add their best friend dying to the list of terrible things to happen to them this month.

"Sure," I agreed. I sounded like a chain-smoker. I tried to clear my throat, and then winced; the throat-clearing felt like stabbing a knife down there. "What happened today? Did you… find her?" It was my turn to shudder, though I wasn't so cold here, right next to his ridiculous body heat.

Jacob shook his head. He was still more running than walking as he headed up the road to his house. "No. She took off into the water; the bloodsuckers have the advantage there. That's why I raced home, I was afraid she was going to double back swimming. You spend so much time on the beach…"

He trailed off, a catch in his throat.

"Sam came back with you… is everyone else home, too?" I hoped they weren't still out searching for her.

“Yeah. They’re all at Em’s having a meeting. Apparently, Victoria came really close to the group of hunters-”

“Charlie!” I tried to scramble out of Jake’s arms at that moment, even with my mostly numb limbs. If my dad had been hurt by her…

“Beau! No, Charlie is fine!” I felt my body melt back into his body, exhausted from the little attempt at freedom. “It’s just…”

“Jake, what? What happened?”

At that moment the rain stopped. I hadn't realized we were already back to Jacob's house until he walked through the door. The storm pounded against the roof.

"Stay here," Jacob said as he dumped me on the short couch. "I mean it, right here I'll get you and Lee some dry clothes. Then we can talk."

I let my eyes adjust to the dark room while Jacob banged around in his bedroom. The cramped front room seemed so empty without Billy, almost desolate. I just wanted both of my boys back with me.

Jacob was back in seconds. He threw a pile of grey cotton at me. "These will be huge on you, but it's the best I've got. I’m gunna go give the rest of these to Lee.”

I somehow managed to change by the time he got back. Lee quickly pushed Jake to the side and picked me up off the couch.

“Beaufort Swan you are the dumbest fucking white boy I have ever met in my life!” I wrapped my arms around his neck, not even complaining for once about being hefted up like a rag doll or when he sat down and he kept me huddled in his lap.

Jake came and settled next to us, lifting my mostly numb feet into his lap.

“Jake… what happened?” Jake shared a look with Lee, and sighed.

“Everyone is safe. I need you to know that now, so you don’t freak out.”

“But?”

“But…” He hesitated, “But Charlie was pulling up last… And Victoria ran right through the group…”

My head was still swimming from the ocean, and I was having issues connecting what he was trying to say, “Jake, what-”

“Charlie saw Victoria and the pack. Luckily, Harry was right with him, but now Charlie is freaking the fuck out and the meeting over at Emily’s is whether or not to tell your dad if werewolves and vampires exist.” I pulled back from Lee to stare at him, my eyes bouncing back and forth between the two other boys.

“Oh…” I really had no idea what to say to that. My first instinct was to panic, but my body was too tired, meaning my brain had a chance to work through everything. It would make things easier, I had to admit. We wouldn’t have to lie to get him down to the reservation, and it would be nice being able to open up about all the lies I had told in the last year.

Part of me wanted to rebel against it. I didn’t want my dad knowing just who I had been spending my time with, and I didn’t know how this would affect his opinion on the little family. Or the pack for that matter, I didn’t want to fight him on how safe the pack was. On how I only felt okay when my two boys were near me.

“Yeah, we figured you needed to know. Lee and I argued that you had a say in whether or not he should be in the loop, but…”

“But it’s a bigger issue than just me.”

“Yeah.”

I rested my head against Lee’s shoulder again, and I felt his face rub against the top of my head again.

We all fell quiet after that, and soon enough Jacob’s eyes slipped shut and I wondered when the last time he slept was. He looked as exhausted as I felt.

Billy's sofa was right next to the radiator, and I was warm now, feeling a deep sense of calm as Lee’s arms cradled me. I felt small against him, and while I normally hated that, at the moment it just served to solidify in my brain that he was safe and could keep himself alive. My lungs ached in a way that pushed me toward unconsciousness rather than keeping me awake. I wondered vaguely if it was wrong to sleep… or was I getting drowning mixed up with concussions…? Jacob began softly snoring, and the sound of it soothed like a lullaby. I fell asleep quickly.

For the first time in a very long time, my dream was just a normal dream. Just a blurred wandering through old memories, blinding bright visions of the Phoenix sun, my mother's face, a ramshackle tree house, a faded quilt, a wall of mirrors, a flame on the black water… I forgot each of them as soon as the picture changed.

Meaningless, but I slowly struggled back to consciousness with the ocean on my mind.

Jacob was still asleep, he was slumped against the arm of the couch, and Lee still had me in his arms. We were sideways now, Lee’s head on Jacob’s thigh, and mine resting on one of his large biceps. I was amazed that we were all able to somehow fit on the small couch.

The house was darker now than before, it was black outside the window. I was stiff, but warm and dry. The inside of my throat burned with every breath I took.

I was going to have to get up, at least to get a drink. But my body just wanted to lay here limp, to never move again.

Jacob and Lee's slow, deep breathing were the only sounds in the room, like a lullaby hummed to a child, like the whisper of a rocking chair, like the ticking of an old clock when you had nowhere you needed to go… It was the sound of comfort.

I had listened to them sleep a few times at our sleepovers when I couldn’t find rest myself. I had always loved the sounds.

I sighed and closed my eyes. Thinking about how stupid I had been. With the motorcycles, and swimming in water that could easily overtake me.

What if something bad happened to me? What would that do to Charlie?

Images from my ill-considered afternoon rolled through my head while I tried to come up with something pleasant to think about… the blackness of the water, the thrashing of the current… Jacob's warm hands, trying to beat life back into me… Lee’s whines as I tried to breathe… the stinging rain flung down by the purple clouds… the strange fire on the waves… There was something familiar about that flash of colour on top of the water. Of course, it couldn't really be fire.

Something Jacob had told me that afternoon echoed in my head, finally sinking in “ _She took off into the water_ ,” he'd said. “ _The bloodsuckers have the advantage there. That's why I raced home- I was afraid she was going to double back swimming.”_

Panic flooded my system. Victoria's hair, blowing wild in the wind, the colour of fire… She'd been right there. Right there in the harbour with me and Jacob and Lee and Sam. If it had been just two of us…? I couldn't breathe.

The next thing I felt was my body being sat up, and two set of hands running all over me.

“Beau?”

“Beau, honey, you’re safe. We’re here.”

“Come on, breathe with me, that’s good.”

When I blinked my eyes into focus it was to see Jake kneeling in front of me.

“Victoria.” I croaked out. It felt like fire in my throat.

“I know we didn’t get her, I’m sorry, we’re trying-”

I shook my head interrupting him.

“I saw her- the water. I thought it was fire. Thought I was hallucinating, but it was _her!_ ”

Jacob’s eyes widened in horror.

Before he could do anything, we were interrupted by the sound of a car squelching through the mud on the road outside. I heard it stop in front of the house, and doors started opening and closing.

Billy's voice was easily identifiable, but he kept it low, so that it was only a gravelly grumble.

The door opened, and the light flicked on. I blinked, momentarily blind.

Sam was right behind Billy, pushing his chair through the door.

Jake stood up when Sam walked in, “Sam, we need to talk, _now,_ ” Jacob’s voice broke, and he pushed passed his dad to head out. Sam followed.

I finally looked over at Lee, and his face was contorted into pure rage.

I focused back onto Billy and remembered there was another matter that had to be saw to.

“Charlie?”

Billy looked a little uncomfortable, but he nodded. “He’s taken this all quite well, considering… well, I guess we know where Beau gets it from.”

His chuckle was off, but I ignored it.

“So, my dad…”

“Knows the secret now, yes. We decided to tell him most of it. We had to stop him from racing down here to get you the minute we told him, but once we explained that it would be safest for you here he agreed to let you stay as long as necessary.”

I tried to focus everything I had on not panicking now that my dad knowing was a reality. I didn’t want to think about Charlie becoming aware of just what kind of mess his only son was.

“Does that mean we won’t have to keep coming up with excuses to get him down here?”

“Charlie has agreed to coming down here when he’s not on shift, and he’s going to find a way to cover for us with the hunters as well.”

I felt a weight I hadn’t been aware of lift from my shoulders. My boys would be safe from one danger. But that still left the other.

The conversation ended after that, and Jake popped his head back in long enough to tell me he was going to grab my truck.

Billy rolled himself into the kitchen and Sam never returned.

I ran my hands through Lee’s long hair for a while, trying to comfort the both of us.

“Beau…” I looked up, even in his lap like I was I had to crane my head to see his face.

“Yeah?” Lee’s face was only a few inches from mine and facing the full force of emotion behind his eyes would’ve been enough to floor me had he not had a steady grip around my body.

I could see his anger, his fear, the worry he held for me, and another emotion I’d seen in his eyes before that I still couldn’t decipher.

Lee had been through so much just in the past week and he was worrying over me. He’d had his whole world turned upside down, and he was holding me while I tried to not panic over every stupid thing.

One of his hands slid up to the side of my face, settling it on my cheek. I couldn’t help but lean closer into the warmth. Lee Clearwater would never not be a comfort to me.

Everything about him made me feel safe and understood, and around him I could forget about the Cullens, even if only for a moment my mind was free of them.

Before either of us could do or say anything more, I heard the sound of my truck pulling up.

Lee pulled me to my feet and helped me to the truck. His arm tightened when the cold air made me shiver, and they made sure to sandwich me between their two bodies in the cab of the truck.

“How will you guys get home?”

“We’re not going home.” Jacob smiled, “We still haven’t caught the bloodsucker, remember?”

I shivered, and it had nothing to do with the cold.

“Jake and I are going to spend the night, and now that Charlie knows it’ll be easier to explain why we’ll slip off through the night.”

I looked between the two of them curiously.

Jake responded first, “We’re taking a protection detail around your house too. We’re doing it in shifts, so the pack can get some sleep, but I’ll be heading out with Jared in a few hours, and when I come back, Lee is going to take a shift with Embry.”

I tried not to fidget when I thought about these kids losing sleep over protecting me, but when I thought of them watching over Charlie too, it made me feel marginally better.

It was a quiet ride after that. The cold air had woken me up. My mind was alert, and it was working very hard and very fast.

I was terrified of the days to come. Not only for myself, but for these boys and their lives.

They had already been disrupted when they phased for the first time, but now they were doing everything to protect me all because I got in with the supernatural and happened to make them angry.

Jacob stopped the truck in front of my dark house, cutting the engine so it was suddenly silent.

I took a deep breath to steady myself, Charlie thankfully wasn’t home yet, but I knew I’d have to face him eventually. Jacob ruffled my hair once before opening the truck door, letting the cool breeze in.

"OH!" The breath whooshed out of Jacob like someone had punched him in the gut. "Holy shit!"

“Fuck! Jacob, _drive!_ ” Lee shouted, as Jake slammed the door and twisted the keys in the ignition at the same moment.

His hands were shaking so hard I didn't know how he managed it.

"What's wrong?"

He revved the engine too fast; it sputtered and faltered.

"Vampire," he spit out.

The blood rushed from my head and left me dizzy. "How do you know?"

"Because I can smell it. _Dammit_!"

Jacob's eyes were wild, raking the dark street. He barely seemed aware of the tremors that were rolling through his body. "Phase or get him out of here?" he hissed at himself. He looked down at me for a split second, taking in my horror-struck eyes and white face, and then he was scanning the street again.

His eyes met Lee’s over my head.

“I phase, you get him out! Now!”

Jacob was already out of the truck before I could stop him, and Lee was dragging me over his lap so he could squeeze into the driver’s side.

“Jake!”

The engine caught with a roar. The tires squealed as he spun the truck around, turning toward our only escape. The headlights washed across the pavement, lit the front line of the black forest, and finally glinted off a car parked across the street from my house.

"Stop!" I gasped.

It was a black car, a car I knew. I might be the furthest thing from an autophile, but I could tell you everything about that particular car. It was a Mercedes S55 AMG. I knew the horsepower and the colour of the interior. I knew the feel of the powerful engine purring through the frame. I knew the rich smell of the leather seats and the way the extra-dark tint made noon look like dusk through those windows.

It was Carlisle's car.

"Stop!" I cried again, louder this time, because Lee was gunning the truck down the street.

"What?!”

“It’s not Victoria! Go back! Jake is about to kill a Cullen!”

“FUCK!”

Lee stomped on the brake so hard I had to catch myself against the dashboard, and he threw himself out of the truck, already racing back down the road to my house.

I slid across the seat and put the truck back in drive. My hands were shaking almost as hard as Jake's had been, and this took a minute of concentration. Then I turned the truck around and drove it back to my house.

There was no one getting torn apart on my front lawn, and for that I was thankful, but the sound of shouts from the backyard told me to hold back my praises.

I shut off the truck and ran around to the back to see a giant russet wolf, snapping and growling as Lee stood trying to convince Jacob to back off.

“The fucking treaty, Black! You break it, they can kill us, _calm down now!_ ”

“Jake! Lee!” At the sound of my voice, Jake’s growling stopped. He was in front of me quicker than I could’ve blinked, and he was snuffling around as if trying to see if I was hurt.

I ran my hands over his soft fur, “Hey, Jake. Come on, phase back for me, I need you to phase back. I’m safe, you’re safe.”

I couldn’t even focus on the fact that there was a Cullen somewhere around here. All I heard was the fact that my boys could get killed and that was what I needed to concentrate on.

After a few minutes, between Lee and I soothing him, Jake managed to calm himself, and he shuffled on his feet awkwardly. It took a second for my frazzled mind to connect the dots.

“Hold on Jake, I have some clothes you can wear inside.” I glanced briefly at Lee, “They’re upstairs, bottom drawer, can you..?”

I had bought some clothes in their size when I purchased my swimsuit the day before and realised that it would be good to have some with me at all times just in case.

Lee nodded once and quickly made his way inside. I set aside the thought of Cullens to momentarily to feel pride that Lee, who had only phased the first time less than a week ago had managed to keep himself together while Jake had freaked out.

Lee quickly appeared back on the lawn, and handed off the clothes to Jake, who took them gently in his giant mouth and padded off to the edge of the forest.

That’s when I caught sight of the Cullen waiting for me.

Unnaturally still. Pale skin, and black almond shaped eyes intent on my face.

She stood frozen off to the side, and was beautiful beyond imagining, even with her choppy black hair and too-thin body.

"Alice- oh, Alice!" I cried, as I slammed into her.

I'd forgotten how hard she was; it was like running headfirst into a wall of cement.

“Beau?” There was a strange mingling of relief and confusion in her voice.

I locked my arms around her, gasping to inhale as much of the scent of her skin as possible. It wasn't like anything else, not floral or spice, citrus or musk. No perfume in the world could compare. My memory hadn't done it justice.

I didn't notice when the gasping turned into something else, I only realized I was sobbing when Alice picked me up, took me into the house, onto the couch, and pulled me into her lap. It was like curling up into a cool stone, but a stone that was contoured comfortingly to the shape of my body. She rubbed my back in a gentle rhythm, waiting for me to get control of myself.

"I'm… sorry," I blubbered. "I'm just… so happy… to see you!"

“It’s okay, Beau. Everything is okay.” Alice sighed. "I'd forgotten how exuberant you are," she said, and her tone was disapproving.

I looked up at her through my streaming eyes. Alice's neck was tight, straining away from me, her lips pressed together firmly. Her eyes were black as pitch.

"Oh," I puffed, as I realized the problem. She was thirsty. And I smelled appetizing. It had been a while since I'd had to think about that kind of thing. "Sorry."

"It's my own fault. It's been too long since I hunted. I shouldn't let myself get so thirsty. But I was in a hurry today."

At the mention of her thirst Lee was immediately by my side. I realised he had been letting me have my moment with Alice, but even if he was being uncharacteristically in control, I could only expect so much from someone being in the same room with their mortal enemy.

I let Lee pull me against his chest and to the other side of the room. Jake was standing in the doorway to the backyard, and I knew that was as close as he would be able to get.

I didn’t begrudge him that.

“Well, I was going to ask just how you were alive, but I think the answer already tried to tear my arm off.”

I looked back at Alice and could feel my face heat up, “You saw me today.”

“You mean to ask if I saw you dive into very dangerous waters and drown yourself then yes, in fact, I did.”

I could see the same angry worry that had been in my boys’ eyes earlier, and felt more ashamed.

Alice shook her head. "I told him this would happen, but he didn't believe me. 'Beau promised,' "'Don't be looking for his future, either,'" she continued to quote him. '"We've done enough damage.”"

"But just because I'm not looking, doesn't mean I don't see." she went on. "I wasn't keeping tabs on you, I swear, Beau. It's just that I'm already attuned to you… when I saw you, I didn't think, I just got on a plane. I knew I would be too late, but I couldn't do nothing. And then I get here, thinking maybe I could help Charlie somehow, and you drive up." She shook her head, this time in confusion. Her voice was strained. "I saw you go into the water and I waited and waited for you to come up, but you didn't. What happened?”

"I didn't think about how the storm would affect the currents. Actually, I didn't think about the water much at all. But if you saw me go in, why didn’t you see Jake?”

She cocked her head to the side, distracted.

I continued. "It's true that I probably would have drowned if Jacob hadn't pulled me out. Well, okay, there's no probably about it. But he did, and he pulled me out, and I guess he towed me back to shore, though I was kind of out for that part. It couldn't have been more than a minute that I was under before he grabbed me. How come you didn't see that?"

Alice eyed Jacob from where he was standing.

“You pulled him out.”

“And got the water out of his lungs.” His voice strained.

Alice glanced between the three of us for a moment before sighing and sinking into the couch.

“I owe you my thanks then.”

Jacob growled lowly, “Didn’t do it for you.”

Alice nodded, “I know, but I have to thank you nonetheless.”

She shook her head, “Beau, you really do just attract all the supernatural, don’t you?”

Lee and Jacob scoffed, but I just grimaced, “You have no idea.”

I nudged Lee to sit down in Charlie’s chair, and after he pulled me into his lap, I told Alice everything, with the boys filling in where I didn’t know. I glossed over the beginning with the motorcycles, I figured that wouldn’t have gone over too well, but told her everything else leading up to today’s misadventure. I hurried on to explain the flame in the water, and about how I thought it was Victoria. That led to the sound of three separate protective growls in the room. Alice’s eyes narrowed almost to slits at that part. It was strange to see her look so… so dangerous; like the predator she was.

She listened to my story without interrupting. Occasionally, she would shake her head, and the crease in her forehead deepened until it looked like it was carved permanently into the marble of her skin. She didn't speak and, finally, I fell quiet.

"Our leaving didn't do you any good at all, did it?" Alice murmured.

I laughed once; it was a slightly hysterical sound, and ignored the twin sounds of anger, "That was never the point, though, was it? It's not like you left for my benefit."

Alice scowled at the floor for a moment. "Well… I guess I acted impulsively today. I probably shouldn't have intruded."

“No, you shouldn’t have.” Lee bit out. I pinched him slightly in reprimand. He of all people understood exactly where I was coming from. Or, maybe he didn’t. If it had been Edward showing up, maybe he would’ve been able to get why I was so happy to see him, but Alice had been just as important to me. My Emily, almost.

“Alice, it’s fine. I know you were worried.”

She nodded hesitantly.

There was something digging at the back of my mind, and after a moment of awkward silence I voiced it.

“Alice… does anyone know you’re here. Or why you’re here?”

Alice had the sense to look a little ashamed at that.

“No, they were mostly gone on hunting trips. Although Rosalie is aware. She tried to talk me out of coming.”

I sighed and rubbed my forehead against the headache I already knew was coming on.

“You should probably go inform Rosalie I’m not dead before she tries to tell everyone else that I am.”

Alice’s eyes widened, “Oh I didn’t think about…” Her eyes went hazy for a second, “Yes, that’s a good idea.”

Alice disappeared out the front door in a flash, and I felt Lee relax slightly against me.

Jacob raced back over to us, ignoring Lee’s shout of indignation to pull me against him.

“Beau, you have _got_ to pick better friends.” I wrapped my arms around him and shook my head.

“My two best friends moonlight as giant fur balls I don’t think adding a vampire or two is that big of a deal.”

He just sighed, “I feel like you’re only helping my point.”

After a minute, the three of us settled on the floor, far away from the couch, and my two boys cuddled around me.

Apparently, I smelled bad after cuddling Alice and they needed to rectify that immediately. I couldn’t stop the chuckle that was released.

Alice eventually returned, but the look on her face wasn’t a happy one.

“Beau, I am so sorry. I tried to convince them not to.”

Immediately, my good mood was shattered.

“Alice, what happened?”

She sighed in frustration, “Rosalie told the rest of the family my vision, and luckily I called because she was going to tell Edward you were dead.”

“Okay, so they were worried, but what-”

“Edward came home just as I was explaining everything and demanded that we come back. Beau, I told him it was better if we stayed away, but he wouldn’t listen. He’s already on his way back.”

Jake and Lee growled in sync, but it faded to the background.

“He’s… coming back?”

Alice looked just as upset as I felt.

“Yes, I texted Jasper to stay with him to keep him calm, but it’s only half working. He thinks he’s responsible for Victoria coming after you, and…” She hesitated for a second, “Well, he’s not a fan of the new friends you’ve made.”

I snapped out of the shock that had started to take me at that.

“Edward doesn’t get a single say in what I do or who I’m friends with!”

Alice nodded, “I know, Beau, I’m sorry. I’ll try to do what I can.”

I deflated as quickly as I had gotten angry, “I know you will, thank you, Alice.”

She sighed again, “Well, I have to go get the house ready. Boys,” She flickered her eyes between Jake and Lee, “It was a pleasure to meet you.” Her lips quirked up at her own joke and she was out of the door in a flash.

The three of us didn’t move from the floor for a long time.


End file.
